Contentment

This year, my new year’s resolution is quite unorthodox. Actually, I have never committed to any new year’s resolution in the past. No, I’m not perfect. I am human, too. It’s just that I just never gave it a second thought. I can appreciate the idea of recommitment, resolution, restoration, whatever have you. In my daily walk with Christ, I recommit myself to God every morning. Though I may be discouraged the previous day, I see every morning as a grand new day, wide open for me to fulfill His agenda and purpose for me. Whether I walk into work putting on the hat of a Patient Care Technician, a Charge Nurse, an Assistant Nurse Manager, a Clinical Nurse Manager, or a Director of Perioperative Services, or sometimes, all of the above, I go in with a heart willing to accept the day for what it is as I know that my daily goal is to the serve the Lord and others.

 

This new year, my resolution is one word: contentment. A good godly brother of mine, also a colleague at work, Mike, asked me if I’d ever heard of the one-word new year’s resolution. No, was my answer. Thanks to him, I prayed long and hard over this idea immediately after the new year commenced, not really for a specific resolution, but God put it on my heart to seek contentment in whatever I do in whatever role I play at home and at work. This was perfect for me, I thought. It comforted me to know that God has my best interest at heart, always. He has seen how restless I have become especially as it comes to my profession. I am passionate about work. My husband would say, “Honey, you’re the most passionate nurse and leader I have ever known.” Not that he knows a lot of nurses. Now, he does know the greatest leader, and that is our Lord, Jesus Christ who is the most passionate and compassionate. No comparison. Currently, I am an Interim Director of Perioperative Services overseeing operations and supporting nearly 400 healthcare professionals across the Central Valley at the Stockton, Manteca, and Modesto Hospitals. This position is quite temporary. There are days, like with any job, when I felt like giving up. All the issues, concerns, messes seemed to be piled on top of one another like Mt. Everest. There’s no way I can do this, I’d tell myself. But, that still small voice says, “Seda, be content with the output you have given today for tomorrow is another day.”

 

The thought of contentment stems from my childhood experiences and into my most recent visit to Cambodia in 2017. Ever since I was a child, my parents always taught us to give from a cheerful heart, to take care of the needy, and to help lift the underserved, not only in our very community, but, also throughout the world. I do not come from a family of wealth, quite the opposite, actually. I came from a low-income family nearing poverty. Even with having little, my parents still found the means and ways to take care of the poor and the needy through monetary gifts, clothing, food, and at times shelter—the basic human needs. Till this day, they have helped many Cambodian families in Cambodia build shelters that would not be swept away by strong gusts of winds or get damaged by the flood that Cambodia sometimes faces. Fast forward to 2017, we encountered many poor people while we visited. Some barely had 3 sets of outfits to change from, let alone a bowl of rice to sustain through the day. What was so complexing was that these beautiful people had big, genuine smiles that radiated the word: contentment. Therefore, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13, NIV)”. This verse was written and well-stated by the apostle Paul in his epistle to the Christian church in Philippi. I’d like to expound on this further by sharing that contentment does not always refer to monetary value and things. More than anything, its inference is the current circumstances we’re in. To conclude, I am to be content in my interim role and commit to doing my best every day in higher position or lower position, all to the glory of God. I pray that God continues to use me for His good work on a daily basis, at home, at work, and in the world.

Greetings 2023!!!

If it is to Lead, Do it Diligently

In Romans 12:6-8, Paul shared with us, "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement, if it is giving, then give generously; if it is lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy; do it cheerfully." 

For awhile now, I have prayed, pondered, and inquired among godly counsels in my life regarding the spiritual gift or gifts God has blessed me. I long and desire to know so that I can hone in on them to better serve the Lord who purposed me for His will. I understand that my professional background as a Director of Surgical Services equates to leading. However, this does not always mean that my spiritual gift is leadership. I do sense that leading is certainly on top of my spiritual gift and because of that, I commit to doing it diligently. 

What does diligent leadership look like? Why does it matter in my service to the Lord? What lasting impact can I make as a leader of healthcare professionals so that it can be carried on with them for a lifetime?

While I understand that the above list of gifts that Paul shared is limited as this certainly is not the complete list of spiritual gifts, I want to focus on the obvious in my life so that I can do my part as a follower of Jesus. Meanwhile, I can start to assess the spiritual gifts of those around me for the purpose of leaning on them where I am lacking so that the decisions I make in my life are well-rounded covering all of the bases of the truth. 

According to Chip Ingram, "the gift of leadership is the divine ability to notice what needs to be done, set goals to get it done, and then attract, motivate, and lead people who can accomplish the work of ministry." Ministry is not limited to the actual physical church. Ministry is in our every day work where we spend the majority of our time. For example, my ministry is at work and at home. I spend 5 days a week at a hospital somewhere whether that is in Stockton, Manteca, or Modesto. The latter part of my weekdays are spent at home with my husband and daughter. This is my other ministry. However, at work, my actual job is to lead people, nearly 400 employees in the Perioperative Services Department across the Central Valley.

I enjoy responsibility and stepping into gaps to help organize the disorganization of processes, practices, and workflows. Through all of that, I know that I have to love people through the process changes to see that outcomes and results are not only optimized, but also meaningful to the individuals and the team. I also enjoy seeing a need and would then envision a plan to meet the need. I must not lose sight of the spiritual purpose behind the projects that are executed. 

Another spiritual gift that I may have according to my best friend Linda (who went on to be with our Good Lord last year) and my Assistant Nurse Manager Nida, is prophecy. One Tuesday evening years ago, Linda shared with me that one of my spiritual gifts is prophecy. I laughed and responded, "Linda, I am no Isaiah and not even anywhere near it." Today, as I dove more into this spiritual gift of prophecy and how it could look in 2022, I can kind of understand where Linda was coming from and what Nida was trying to say. According to Chip Ingram, "the gift of prophecy is a divine ability to proclaim God's truth with power and clarity in a timely and culturally sensitive fashion for correction, repentance, or edification--"strengthening, encouraging and comfort" (1 Corinthians 14:3). Chip went on to say that people with the prophetic motivational gift: tend to be persuasive speakers, read people well, can come across as opinionated or insensitive, can depend on their speaking ability rather than on the power of the Holy Spirit if not careful. Whenever I am placed in a new position by God, I often ask, what went wrong here? I want to know in order to right the wrongs. Additionally, I desire to get to the heart of the real issues that need to be addressed and often gets overlooked. 

More on this another day...

But, as of today, Sunday, November 20th, I commit to leading my team diligently with the help of the Holy Spirit that lives in me. I am thankful to God for using me for His purpose and will. I commit to doing the good work daily to His glory.

Part 2: Antidote to Pride

 (This is a follow-up entry to my latest post, Setting Our Pride Aside) 

Personally, for me, the antidote to pride comes from dwelling on the message Paul shared in Colossians 3:12-17 which goes on to say:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

In Colossians 3, Paul reminded his readers of their status as a people chosen by God (v. 12). Because we're chosen, we have certain obligations that are relational in nature. Since we have a reconciled relationship to God, to whom we were once enemies (1:21), we're to be in healthy relationship to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. Therefore, Paul instructed us to put on the virtues listed as we would put on literal garments (2:12-14). The characteristics he shared are critical to establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. Our restored relationship to God should lead us to extend compassion, kindness, and patience to our fellow believers. This, however, means that we'll necessarily need to "bear with each other" when conflicts and misunderstandings arise (v. 13). We can't put on these virtues without love, "which binds them all together in perfect unity" (v. 14). -Tim Gustafson

Part 1: Setting Our Pride Aside

Sin is sin—no matter how big or small. Sin can be as big as murdering somebody and taking their actual life away. Indeed, this type of sin is comparable to the indirect murdering of a brother or sister by having hatred for them. In a world full of differing opinions, a plethora of religious choices to choose from, especially for Americans where there is tremendous freedom, there is of course, great conflict and controversy. It may seem a bit overwhelming or conflicting to some, or should I say, to most, as we live in such a liberal nation. But, when we really think about conflict among human beings in general because of differing opinions and ways of living, let us not overlook the great conflict among believers of Jesus. Statistics say that 1 out of 4 Americans proclaim their religious choice as Christianity. However, I'm conflicted as to why we are not more peaceful as a nation. This does not come to me by surprise because we have been forewarned by prophets of the Bible from the Ancient of Days in the Old Testament to the New Testament as taught by some the most credible apostles of Jesus including Peter, Paul, Timothy, and so forth. We were reminded that there will certainly be conflict among brothers and sisters over many different reasons, not only with biological siblings but also those brothers and sisters of Christ.

It may seem like there is no hope. This is not true. There is hope for reconciliation for broken relationships. First and foremost, we must reconcile our once broken relationship with God in order to successfully resolve issues with one another. It is never too late for reconciliation no matter how broken the situation may seem or how long the conflict has been allowed to go on without resolution or whatever the next excuse may be. The greatest news is that God allows us the opportunity to reconcile our relationship with Him first before we can attempt to resolve any brokenness between each other. And, the next good news is that God equips us with how to handle conflict through His step-by-step instructions in His Word paying close attention to Romans chapters 14 and 15. Paul shows us how to resolve conflict in a godly, winsome, and loving way.

The biggest step to committing to resolve any conflict between individuals whether at work or at home or in the broader world is the power to put one’s pride aside. This concept goes to believers and non-believers alike. Here’s the thing—when we don’t do this, we are not going to learn anything from the process and really, we wouldn’t be here today talking about it. We can also choose to take the easy route by just ignoring that there is a problem in the first place and allowing the issue to eat us up inside. This may be due to the desire to keep the peace that never existed in the first place or that there may be a lack of courage. Additionally, the point is not to point fingers or determine who is at fault or who sinned greater. The greatest point is that there is an issue that needs to be resolved. That issue may stem from general misunderstandings, or that there was a lack of genuine love and concern for one another, or simply that there is no interest in building a real, genuine relationship between each other. That is all fine and everything but when there is hurt and injury involved, the issue must be addressed and tended to.

When we attentively listen by, first of all, humbling ourselves before that tough conversation and allowing for the other person to open up, we set our posture for impartiality allowing for authentic and meaningful conversation to take root. We’re giving the other person the benefit of the doubt along with giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt because there may be some points or aspects that we have missed, especially, with so much brokenness in the world. Thus, we wouldn’t know any better because some of us may have come from broken and dysfunctional homes growing up. So, the next best thing to do, in our minds, is to put our guard up and ‘protect’ ourselves from being hurt. This type of response is natural.

But, really, at the end of the day, the question is: what if the person meant it for good and not for bad. Just like what God reminded us in His Word through the life of Joseph as told in Genesis chapters 37 through 50. Towards the latter part of Joseph’s life, his response to his brothers who tried to kill him when he was a boy was, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20 NIV). Now let’s put this verse into context. As mentioned earlier, brothers and sisters quarrel, conflict comes up all the time (in one word: drama). Even from the beginning of time, we were given a classic example in the life of Joseph where he was supposed to have been murdered by his brothers but God saved him. Joseph’s loving and righteous response to his brothers, the same brothers who attempted to kill him years earlier, who later on had to put their pride aside, and are now begging the rich and powerful Joseph to feed them for they had been starving for months, is an example of how we ought to love and be as believers. Therefore, brothers and sisters, let us be reminded as Paul reminded us in Romans12:19: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”

Through these scriptures shared here along with Joseph's life as one prime example out of the Bible, I truly hope and pray that we examine our hearts by asking God to further search our hearts. Secondly, we must ask ourselves: who in our lives where conflict resolution needs to take place in a loving and winsome way through the help of the Holy Spirit?

Then, pray for the person, pray for the situation, ask God for wisdom on how to move forward and for to show you how to address the conflict. If possible, and if the other person is willing, meet in private, and have a heart-to-heart discussion before God, who is first of all filled with unfailing love, mercy, faithfulness, fairness and forgiveness.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Boundaries vs. Obligations

Today, I am personally at a crossroad when it comes to the holidays, weddings, and funerals. I understand that obligations are obligations—and as my parents reminded me, over and over again, from when I was a child to an adult today, fulfilling obligations is quite important and somewhat required of me and of any normal human being. Maybe they’re speaking from a very traditional Cambodian/Chinese/Buddhist perspective which at times I can relate, but then, there are occasions which I can’t relate. Even they would agree with some of the decisions I have made and would encourage for me to do what is unorthodox, like declining to attend some of the family events I have been invited to. Then, yet again, they contradict themselves, saying family is family and blood is thicker than water. 

 

This Christmas, we invited my best friend's family to our home a few weeks earlier, out of pure love and care, to ensure that we fulfill the obligation of caring for them after my best friend went home to be with the Lord earlier this year. However, they have decided to just keep it to themselves this Christmas which we totally understand and respect. No harsh feelings and we're hopeful for next year or the next or the next. Since the declination, my husband and I pondered on what our Plan B would be. I listed the extended families that we could possibly invite and host, my side of the family or his side of the family or take up on an invitation. It would be fun. But, he politely declined. Not the typical response I would get from my socially-oriented husband. I asked why. He simply stated that he just wanted a quiet, peaceful, and intimate Christmas. He wanted to focus on the birth of Jesus and what His birth means to all of humanity. I was pleasantly surprised to hear this from him. I am thankful to know that this was what he really wanted after all and I couldn't agree more. 

Guilt is certainly another factor that somehow finds itself in to my heart and mind after I have firmly decided one way or another. After many gatherings at our homestead over the years and going over to someone else’s home for the holidays—whether Thanksgiving or Christmas, or other holidays that aren't so significant, we have been occasionally burnt leaving a bitter taste in our mouths. Prior to these gatherings and invitations, we anticipate so much. Our hearts pitter and patter with thoughts on how it will be, and so many what-ifs come to mind. Post-gathering, we become somewhat traumatized by some of the harsh words or questioning of our being as if we are not enough. Personally, I'm even made to believe that I'm this big, bad person.  Conversations replay in my mind causing for my blood to boil up inside me, compelling second-thoughts, reminding me to meditate, forgive, and let it all go..."For they know not what they do."

 

So, really, the phrase, “Good vibes only,” should really mean: be nice, be kind, be supportive, and most importantly, be real, be genuine, be authentic with love for you cannot be the former without the latter. And, you certainly cannot be the latter without LOVE. Therefore, if you can’t be all of the above to each individual you invite to your home or as a guest to someone else’s home, then don’t even bother. What humanity is lacking is genuine love for one another. Because of this depravity, the world is a darker place filled with human beings who are angry, lonely, depressed, sad, anxious, etc. because they're too busy being envious and jealous of each other...too busy trying to keep up with the Joneses, that the words that come out of their mouths reflect truly what's inside their hearts. Pretentious love is freely given with empty words and forced smiles that don’t warm up the core of the bones leaving half-empty hearts that go unfilled. Pretentious is such the word that would not be used to describe me if I were asked to describe myself. It’s an ugly thing to be. Yet, at times, I’m almost forced to be pretentious to get things going along for the time being. Because, let’s face it, not everything is peaches and cream, not all relationships are on good terms. People are afraid to go deep in conversations for they are afraid of what revelations/truths would surface and how these truths would affect the others’ feelings.

 

Therefore, boundaries are boundaries. My boundaries may be more specific filled with many little requirements than others. I am not putting this out there to declare that I cannot live with the world. I will still do my best to live in peace with the world. But, I will limit myself to toxicity which can so quickly and easily spread ruining my mindset in a very real way just as Paul reminded us in 1 Corinthians 15:32-34 (NIV), “Do not be misled. Bad company corrupts good character. Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop spinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God – I say this to your shame.” So, brothers and sisters, what you do today matters for eternity. In light of eternity, sin is a foolish gamble. Your belief in the resurrection will affect your view of the future. Most significantly, it also ought to affect how you live today.

 

I am not writing this out of hate or spite. I am doing my best to also love my enemies. We all know and can acknowledge that we have enemies in this life. But, I don’t and never will wish any ill-thoughts upon them…only pray for them to see the truth for what it stands. And, today, that truth is the birth of Jesus Christ born to be our savior over 2000 years ago. He came so that we may have life…in eternity. He came to wipe away all our sins even as we are still sinners so that we may know how deep His love is for each and everyone of us. Today, I pray that you may understand the depth of His unfailing love for all of us even when we don’t deserve it. 

May your Christmas be filled with humility and gentle kindness given, and received.

Believing Without Seeing

The year 2019 was filled with many ups and downs, running the gamete of all kinds of emotions from joy to fear to excitement to heartaches to hopefulness. We were presented with good news and bad. All in all, we never really know what comes next. Only God knows. He is the controller of our lives. So, to still try to have control over our own lives is almost foolish. And, we all know how hard it is to surrender all. Doubt comes knocking on the door to our hearts. Fear creeps in. Before we know it, we become doubting Thomas. We have given Thomas this negative connotation. But, at times, we are just like him. So, how do we position our hearts to have full faith and confidence in our Lord who is full of grace, love, and mercy?

Jesus said to Thomas, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29 (NIV)

My best friend Linda was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in late 2018. Two rounds of chemotherapy later, she received this life-prolonging surgery called the Whipple procedure. Through hope and prayers, she successfully recovered from this surgery. To give her an extra layer of protection, the doctor decided she’d benefit from radiation. We celebrated every step of the way through tears and laughter and praises and prayers.

Then, a CT Scan was done after all those treatments to see whether all was clear and good to go. Unfortunately, another spot was seen on her liver. Bummer! I thought to myself. The stupid little cancer needs to go away and stay away. After all this, it may be all too easy for us to open that door and let doubt come in to hang out and linger long enough for fear and anger to join in. However, Jesus reminds us to have faith. He is the great Physician and Healer and He said to the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years, who came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She did it and proclaimed she’d be healed. He said to her, “Take heart, daughter. Your faith has healed you.” Matthew 9:20-22.

My constant reminder to Linda is to hang on to His coattail, commit to the mountain, go through rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, and whatever you need to do, again. This season, we are going to continue to walk by faith, and not by sight as Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 5:7. God knows of our heartaches, fear, doubt, and shame. His perfect grace and mercy is sufficient to carry us through and it’s just what we need. And, He is asking us to commit to that mountain, as Pastor Brian Benton calls it, because He will help us climb up that mountain, every day. 

Learning from the Geese in Leadership

Leaders should never stop learning and growing, especially as nurses in the health care profession. To be an effective leader, you must first be an active follower and participant in the team you are leading. The roles of a follower and a leader should be interchangeable and must be switched when the time calls for it for many different reasons. The failure to do so could lead to preventable disengagement of the entire team eventually losing sight of the end goal. One of the primary objectives of a leader should be to experience successful outcomes knowing what factors led the team to that accomplishment. There are many principle components in the making of a competent leader, including the ability to communicate well and often, collaborate and network with the interprofessional team, problem-solve and troubleshoot issues based on renowned nursing models, having a shared vision for the improvement of structure, culture and morale, being a risk manager and coming up with action plans, empowering others in the team to lead and take leadership roles within the organization, and continued development of oneself as an individual, a professional, and a leader (Grossman & Valiga, 2017, p. 109). More power to the team whose members already encompass some of these components as individuals.

With ongoing demand for nurses to function as leaders in their areas of work, they must be given proper tools, support, encouragement, and definitely a great role model of a good leader to successfully run the operations of the daily work. This exemplifies a team collaborating well together with a great sense of awareness including appreciation for one another’s expertise and strengths along with the differences that each member of the team has to offer. Additionally, individuals of the team must possess courageous behavior to speak up and challenge the leader and each other when needed, especially when things are headed in the wrong direction. It is almost like running a code blue—each person has their role in the active pursuit of saving the life of the person who had just experienced cardiac arrest. If the physician orders for a dose of epinephrine to be given when instead, a cardiac shock should be delivered, the physician is relying on his or her team members to speak up to correct the order given. Being a follower is not a passive role. And, when the follower speaks up and challenges something that does not seem right, this action demonstrates leadership. As well-stated by Grossman and Valiga (2017), “Nurses need to mentor each other and call on the strengths of one another, much like geese who fly in a “V” formation” (p. 118).

As an assistant nurse manager of perioperative services, I am in constant quest for leaders within my team. I take the time to get to know my people. I learn their strengths and weaknesses, observe how they lead in their own areas of work, find strategic ways to turn their weaknesses into opportunities for growth, and analyze how their strengths can contribute to the whole good of the department outside of their patient care roles in terms of projects and committees. I am well-aware that I cannot do it all on my own in the successful operations of my department. This awareness comes with much self-reflection on my part to see my own strengths and weaknesses. I also need to realize when I need help from my team, peers and other mentors in my discipline. To successfully run and lead the daily workflow and operations of my department, I need more than 2 to 3 other ‘leaders’ for those back up plans when sick calls come in or vacation coverage is needed, and so forth. Because of this awareness, I strategically place my leaders where they are needed and would benefit the most. I intentionally pair up a weak operating room circulator with a strong surgical technician, or vice versa, to balance out the performance of the team encouraging the high-performing individual to help guide the other. I share these strategies with my team members so that they are aware of my goals and intention and become successful in problem-solving on their own in my absence. I do my best to setup my department in a way that when I am off-campus for class, conferences, or meetings, the other ‘leaders’ in my department can still function without me.

Leading is no easy task. We are all leaders in our daily roles whether we are bedside nurses, clinical nurse educators, or nurse managers. Whatever specialty or role we chose to be as nurses, we are leading the way to influencing and impacting this health care industry in many positive ways through our leadership in the areas we work. But, first, let us not forget that we must be good followers in order to also be great leaders in an effort of making a lasting impact delivering quality care and positive outcomes. To get there, we must work together with a shared, common vision and mission. We need to build others up and see the potential in each individual to lead, creating sustainable outcomes. Let us all learn from the geese in their leadership!

References

Grossman, S. & Valiga, T.M. (2017). The new leadership challenge-creating the future of nursing (5^th ed.). Philadelphia, PA: F.A. Davis Company.