My Savior, My Saving Grace

"As for me, I trust in You, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in Your hand. -Psalm 31:14-15



Sometimes it takes for a big accident to happen in order for us to realize that there is a greater, more powerful being that exists--someone who protects us all of the time and someone who knows the timing and seasons of our lives. God has the big picture in mind; and he definitely knows the plans he has for you. 
Yesterday, I got into a very big and bad car accident that could easily take away the driver's life, or at least that was what I was told by the highway patrol officer, my husband Jeff, Jerry (the guy who stopped to help me), and many others. As the car rolled over, I closed my eyes and I prayed harder than I would normally for God to take over and help me out. It was the moment when I noticed myself actually letting go of everything...my hands off the steering wheel, my foot off the brake pedal, my eyes closed. The one thing, however, that I did not let go was my Faith in the Lord. I had full faith in him and knew that he would take over the situation and will do his best to keep me alive for my 6 year-old daughter and loving husband. All at the same time, it was definitely difficult to even think that I would come out of the accident alive. And maybe I'd be paralyzed like some young adults I took care of after suffering severely from a motor vehicular accident. As the car tumbled over, I knew I was going to die, there was no way I'd be alive. It was so traumatic...feeling my body tumbling with the roll of the car. Amazingly enough, when the car stopped moving I realized it landed on its wheels. I opened my eyes, took off my seat belt, pushed the car door open, pushing it even harder to try to get out as it was jammed. And when I was completely out of the car, I literally jumped in joy just to feel some sort of confirmation that I was still alive and it was the reality I was living in! I experienced that kind of joy that you'd get when you look at the situation and say it could be worse because it could definitely be worse, in fact, much worse. All of my extremities were still moving, functioning like normal. I had no scratches, blood, or bruises. I did have dirt covered all over me from head to toe and in my mouth, my nose, my ears...


I moved on and dusted myself off and went after flying papers, documents, shoes...doing my best to gather everything that got thrown out of the car while trying to get help. I saw three trucks passing by, screaming for their attention. None of them stopped to help me. I went back into my car looking for my phone to make a call out to my husband. No luck. Dirt was piled into mini hills on the floor of the passenger side. My purse was thrashed and filled with about five pounds of dirt and pebbles. My lipstick was buried in dirt on the floor mat and my wallet was under the passenger's seat. My phone was nowhere to be found. I lifted my head up out of the passenger's side and saw a gentleman yelling at me to see if I was okay. He told me he thought I was dead because as he approached my car, he could not see me. I got out of my car and he examined me from a distance, asking if I was sure that I was okay. I told him, "I'm okay. Thank you so much for stopping to help me." He then called CHP to get help and I asked him if he could please call my phone. He did. I heard it ringing but could not find it. And I then asked if I could use his phone to call my husband. He handed me the phone, I dialed my husband's number...it rang..."Hello...?" my husband answered. "Honey...I got into another car accident."

My husband came to my side, comforted me, helped me clean up the mess, and brought me home...He kept telling me that he was extremely thankful that I was alive because he would hate to raise our daughter on his own and he would not be able to live without me. All at the same time, while I was feeling guilty and kept apologizing to him and causing all of the headache, he made me feel the complete opposite. He made me realize how important I am to him and Jewelene. Not that I didn't know. But it was definitely a great reassurance. Sometimes, we all need that as a consolation. He provided such solace that I had never known before.

To make this long story short, I was saved. I was saved by my saving grace, the Lord. It was like he threw a protective metal shield around me from head to toe and protected me with all his might. There is no way that this was by happenstance of pure luck! I am still alive, did not get hurt or paralyzed. He chose this particular incident to remind me that Faith is a powerful factor that leads us to the truth. My faith in God was what saved me; he is my truth. I trust him with my time, my life, my being. Even the daughter that he chose for me to have, and the man he chose for me to marry was all part of his big plans for me.

Growing Up, Growing Old, Growing Wise...

First off, I would like to start out with this quote I came across in the midst of researching and trying to put together this idea that involves...Growing Up.
"What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it. " Brigitte Bardot

There are certain people who seem to be living life without the motivation to move forward. Sure, you probably think that financially...you are in a good position, maybe better than most of the people you know. Hence, you think you are successful. And you are living the American Dream...the two-story house, the right kinda job, maybe not having to actually work and experience the luxury of being home all day...while your spouse works full-time. But, what is missing from here? What is the missing piece to this picture? Or should I ask, what are the missing pieces to this picture?? Odd, that I am asking this because one may think that that is the life!! Not having to work, not having to worry about the checks and balances of a monetary account, not having to live in a crammed up little house or apartment. With that said, please allow me the opportunity to tell you what this picture of a "perfect" life is missing.

Whenever I come across this topic or something triggers for this to startle in my mind and in my deepest of thoughts...the word--superficial--comes into my very disposition. Superficial keeps one from growing up and growing wise; it forces for a person to focus on the unnecessary things in life. It's being shallow and lacking originality and genuineness. Thus, leading to the misconception of truths and reality. The most important deficit is forthright honesty.

So...when I say that these people lack that drive to move forward, I am referring to those who love to live for the drama in life. They are willing to do anything...even if it means distorting the truth, setting up an argument, and in some cases, jeopardizing their marriage and their family just to create an emergency. My absolute question is what do you really get out of this? What do you gain by inflicting such disturbance? And what makes you even go there in the first place? Is it a lack of self-confidence, is it a seeking of attention from a particular subject, is it directed to make the other person feel bad, is it satisfying? What is the intention?

Growing up, and growing wise would be enticing only if you live within and according to your age is what Brigitte Bardot referred to when she came up with the quote. For such a quote to be in existence definitely tells us that there are some people in our society who falls off that track somewhere along the way while going through life. Mind you, I do not know Ms. Bardot personally or what she is really all about, but I will tell you one thing for certain, her quote caught my attention without question when this subject of growing up came to the forefront of my mind.

In my own personal life I may be just 20 something, but having accomplished my way into a career, a profession, experiencing the opportunity of raising children, of being my husband's wife, of being a mother to somebody, owning homes and being a tax-paying citizen...means a lot to me. These things are my livelihood and I worked and am working hard for them. My outstanding goal in life however, is to be the person that Ms. Bardot referred to..."the dear old lady" who is wise. I wish and hope that someday, when my daughter is a young lady, a young adult of her own...that she consults with me for advice on life...and seeks for help from me as her mother, who would only do the absolute best to show her how to live her life wisely, to steer her back into the right direction if she were to veer off road. And, I am pretty certain that those days will come; mistakes and errors are part of being a human. And this is not to say that I have learned all I could in life...I am learning everyday.

Now back to where I began with this point I am trying to make...some of the things that are missing from that picture includes an open mind--to learning and acceptance, maybe raising children--they teach you patience and selflessness, a job--having to do and work with coworkers. All of these things that we sometimes call things factor in on how we grow up, mature, and age intellectually. Not to mention, the values and morals that were ingrained into a family's foundation to create who you are and who you will become.

My wish for you is to live a life full of knowledge...to know your surroundings, to discover who you are, to know that knowledge and wisdom are two different things. Because to be knowledgeable is what aides you in performing your everyday job, whatever it is that you do for a living. But to be wise is what helps you to create a life that one would call enchanting. It's not the superficial things that is the determining factor on how well you did in life...it's the enlightened mind full of wisdom and of knowledge that results in the wise person one will be in his or her later years in life.

With all that said, growing up is one thing...but growing wise is another.