The year 2019 was filled with many ups and downs, running
the gamete of all kinds of emotions from joy to fear to excitement to
heartaches to hopefulness. We were presented with good news and bad. All in
all, we never really know what comes next. Only God knows. He is the controller
of our lives. So, to still try to have control over our own lives is almost
foolish. And, we all know how hard it is to surrender all. Doubt comes knocking
on the door to our hearts. Fear creeps in. Before we know it, we become doubting
Thomas. We have given Thomas this negative connotation. But, at times, we are just
like him. So, how do we position our hearts to have full faith and confidence
in our Lord who is full of grace, love, and mercy?
Jesus said to Thomas, “Because you have seen me, you have
believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John
20:29 (NIV)
My best friend Linda was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in
late 2018. Two rounds of chemotherapy later, she received this life-prolonging
surgery called the Whipple procedure. Through hope and prayers, she
successfully recovered from this surgery. To give her an extra layer of
protection, the doctor decided she’d benefit from radiation. We celebrated
every step of the way through tears and laughter and praises and prayers.
Then, a CT Scan was done after all those treatments to see
whether all was clear and good to go. Unfortunately, another spot was seen on
her liver. Bummer! I thought to myself. The stupid little cancer needs to go
away and stay away. After all this, it may be all too easy for us to open that
door and let doubt come in to hang out and linger long enough for fear and
anger to join in. However, Jesus reminds us to have faith. He is the great
Physician and Healer and He said to the woman who had been bleeding for 12
years, who came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She did it and
proclaimed she’d be healed. He said to her, “Take heart, daughter. Your faith
has healed you.” Matthew 9:20-22.
My constant reminder to Linda is to hang on to His coattail,
commit to the mountain, go through rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, and
whatever you need to do, again. This season, we are going to continue to walk
by faith, and not by sight as Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 5:7. God knows
of our heartaches, fear, doubt, and shame. His perfect grace and mercy is
sufficient to carry us through and it’s just what we need. And, He is asking us
to commit to that mountain, as Pastor Brian Benton calls it, because He will
help us climb up that mountain, every day.
