If You Lose Trust...

I am sure we have all had our fair share of trust and how it was broken in our lives. Since the very beginning of time, trusting was built and instilled in our hearts, souls, and minds. We trusted as a little child that our parents, guardians, caretakers would care for us and love us. Even for those living in the orphanages, if no one cared for them or loved them enough, they wouldn't have shelter over them, and clothes to keep them warm. However, that trust that we were certain to have upon these so-called people to be trusting...that they would love us no matter what, can be easily broken.

We see it everyday in all aspects of the human life. We hear stories of it from our peers, co-workers, friends, and of stories they heard and came across. We see it in the media, the local newspaper, the TV, the internet...of how a child was neglected in a car under the hot 100-degree sun while the mother went in to the store to shop. Or a man going into a classroom and killing children while they were learning. Or a mother killing her own child, and many more.

So...then, does it become hard for us to trust? Do we slowly lose trust in the people who are suppose to love us and care for us, not only for our well-being, but our hearts? By seeing and hearing these things on the daily, day in and day out, at least frequently enough--does it change our trust in these significant beings in our lives? If someone hurts us so much, making it unhealthy for us physically, mentally, and emotionally--do we go back or should we remove ourselves from the source? Do we love ourselves enough to realize the situation and the fact that it isn't nourishing our souls, instead humiliating it--to walk away from the situation? What do we do?

His Little Princess

I will be your God through all your lifetime, yes, even when your hair is white with age. --Isaiah 46:4

You may not be fully aware of the love that God has for you--that kind of love that a daddy would have for his little daughter--his princess. But in the deepest place in your heart, you are profoundly loved. I hope and pray that you absolutely understand that God always protects you and that He never takes his eyes off you. I also pray that you will grasp hold of the truth and embrace it in everything that you do and most importantly, know that anything is possible because you are His princess, always.

I believe that God has his greater plans for you--greater than the plans you set out for yourself. There is a hidden agenda to most things that He has in store for you, but you have to learn to trust him with those plans and you shall see the surprises and rewards. Some things may seem superficial or shallow but the meaning is much deeper than you could have ever imagined. Even the simplest thing of all things will unfold itself and present to you this beautiful truth, and when those times come...remember to reflect upon his plans he had all planned out for you. Maybe what he is trying to teach you in those harsh times could be something as small as learning to trust him, and acceptance of what has been handed to you. Therefore, I do pray that you understand just how precious you are to him. So trust him to make some of the most difficult decisions for you. Talk to him in your prayers. I promise you He will listen. And, most of all, dance for him always.

Keep in mind that each one of us is given only one life. Your days on Earth is not a dance rehearsal--one in which you can come back and rehearse again. Make your dance recital count and matter--so that God knows you are seriously cherishing this life you were given. And, the blessings shall continue to add up!!

God Bless!!

Seda

And here is our princess with her silly face getting ready to dance her heart out.

Positive Attitude, Negative Attitude. You Choose.

As I was going through my work day today, I was feeling somewhat anxious and quite apprehensive about how this day was going to end--me, being on-call till 6:45am the next morning and noticing the number of "add-ons" on the surgery schedule displayed on a 65-inch monitor. But, I just kept going with my current case and did my best to maintain a positive attitude...holding myself gracefully and continued to smile even though the stress level was up there. There was nothing I could do about those add-ons. No matter how long I studied that monitor or wished for them to just disappear, or maybe cancelled...I knew that that was all wishful thinking. I just accepted the fact that it was a busy day and kept telling myself that I will survive. Thinking of the upcoming weekend and spending some good, quality time with my husband and daughter also motivated for me to just keep swimming. Thoughts like those excite me and in return, they help take a bit of stress off the load.

Sometimes, anxiety and apprehension can really take a hold of you in a negative way (if you allow it). It can cause such huge frustration leading to mistakes, doubts, depression, etc. All of these are adverse effects resulting from the contravening reactions that you take when such situation arises. So, when you catch yourself feeling overwhelmed, stressed-out, frustrated...snap yourself out of those negative thoughts. Go take a break. Let your coworkers know that you need a few minutes to gather yourself together or that you need a mental break. They will understand what you are demanding or requiring. Trust me. We all go through that many many times in our lifespan.

By reacting negatively upon such stress, what do you actually gain? Nothing, but a bad experience. I have seen in front of my own eyes how mistakes have transpired due to the person's frustration. I have seen people blaming themselves for when things went wrong and were out of control. I have seen people doubting their abilities as nurses and as a result, looked into a different career path.

Trying to avoid or escape your frustration and stress will not and does not guarantee that you will never, ever feel that again. Of course not. Let's face it. A lot of things in life cannot be avoided. Depending on how you react to the situation and what you do about it, it can possibly be minimized, but definitely not omitted from life completely.

Realization plays an essential part in learning--especially about yourself. Thus, self-realization. Once you have acknowledged that a problem is in existent, you can move on and make a decision. It's all up to you and how you choose to deal the hand given to you! You can either take the challenge gracefully and have a positive attitude about it. Or, you can allow for that frustration to be stronger than you that it'll take a hold of you (and I suggest that you invest on a cushion signage that should say something like, "Bang head here." and pin it to your wall).

You choose.

My Savior, My Saving Grace

"As for me, I trust in You, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in Your hand. -Psalm 31:14-15



Sometimes it takes for a big accident to happen in order for us to realize that there is a greater, more powerful being that exists--someone who protects us all of the time and someone who knows the timing and seasons of our lives. God has the big picture in mind; and he definitely knows the plans he has for you. 
Yesterday, I got into a very big and bad car accident that could easily take away the driver's life, or at least that was what I was told by the highway patrol officer, my husband Jeff, Jerry (the guy who stopped to help me), and many others. As the car rolled over, I closed my eyes and I prayed harder than I would normally for God to take over and help me out. It was the moment when I noticed myself actually letting go of everything...my hands off the steering wheel, my foot off the brake pedal, my eyes closed. The one thing, however, that I did not let go was my Faith in the Lord. I had full faith in him and knew that he would take over the situation and will do his best to keep me alive for my 6 year-old daughter and loving husband. All at the same time, it was definitely difficult to even think that I would come out of the accident alive. And maybe I'd be paralyzed like some young adults I took care of after suffering severely from a motor vehicular accident. As the car tumbled over, I knew I was going to die, there was no way I'd be alive. It was so traumatic...feeling my body tumbling with the roll of the car. Amazingly enough, when the car stopped moving I realized it landed on its wheels. I opened my eyes, took off my seat belt, pushed the car door open, pushing it even harder to try to get out as it was jammed. And when I was completely out of the car, I literally jumped in joy just to feel some sort of confirmation that I was still alive and it was the reality I was living in! I experienced that kind of joy that you'd get when you look at the situation and say it could be worse because it could definitely be worse, in fact, much worse. All of my extremities were still moving, functioning like normal. I had no scratches, blood, or bruises. I did have dirt covered all over me from head to toe and in my mouth, my nose, my ears...


I moved on and dusted myself off and went after flying papers, documents, shoes...doing my best to gather everything that got thrown out of the car while trying to get help. I saw three trucks passing by, screaming for their attention. None of them stopped to help me. I went back into my car looking for my phone to make a call out to my husband. No luck. Dirt was piled into mini hills on the floor of the passenger side. My purse was thrashed and filled with about five pounds of dirt and pebbles. My lipstick was buried in dirt on the floor mat and my wallet was under the passenger's seat. My phone was nowhere to be found. I lifted my head up out of the passenger's side and saw a gentleman yelling at me to see if I was okay. He told me he thought I was dead because as he approached my car, he could not see me. I got out of my car and he examined me from a distance, asking if I was sure that I was okay. I told him, "I'm okay. Thank you so much for stopping to help me." He then called CHP to get help and I asked him if he could please call my phone. He did. I heard it ringing but could not find it. And I then asked if I could use his phone to call my husband. He handed me the phone, I dialed my husband's number...it rang..."Hello...?" my husband answered. "Honey...I got into another car accident."

My husband came to my side, comforted me, helped me clean up the mess, and brought me home...He kept telling me that he was extremely thankful that I was alive because he would hate to raise our daughter on his own and he would not be able to live without me. All at the same time, while I was feeling guilty and kept apologizing to him and causing all of the headache, he made me feel the complete opposite. He made me realize how important I am to him and Jewelene. Not that I didn't know. But it was definitely a great reassurance. Sometimes, we all need that as a consolation. He provided such solace that I had never known before.

To make this long story short, I was saved. I was saved by my saving grace, the Lord. It was like he threw a protective metal shield around me from head to toe and protected me with all his might. There is no way that this was by happenstance of pure luck! I am still alive, did not get hurt or paralyzed. He chose this particular incident to remind me that Faith is a powerful factor that leads us to the truth. My faith in God was what saved me; he is my truth. I trust him with my time, my life, my being. Even the daughter that he chose for me to have, and the man he chose for me to marry was all part of his big plans for me.

Growing Up, Growing Old, Growing Wise...

First off, I would like to start out with this quote I came across in the midst of researching and trying to put together this idea that involves...Growing Up.
"What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it. " Brigitte Bardot

There are certain people who seem to be living life without the motivation to move forward. Sure, you probably think that financially...you are in a good position, maybe better than most of the people you know. Hence, you think you are successful. And you are living the American Dream...the two-story house, the right kinda job, maybe not having to actually work and experience the luxury of being home all day...while your spouse works full-time. But, what is missing from here? What is the missing piece to this picture? Or should I ask, what are the missing pieces to this picture?? Odd, that I am asking this because one may think that that is the life!! Not having to work, not having to worry about the checks and balances of a monetary account, not having to live in a crammed up little house or apartment. With that said, please allow me the opportunity to tell you what this picture of a "perfect" life is missing.

Whenever I come across this topic or something triggers for this to startle in my mind and in my deepest of thoughts...the word--superficial--comes into my very disposition. Superficial keeps one from growing up and growing wise; it forces for a person to focus on the unnecessary things in life. It's being shallow and lacking originality and genuineness. Thus, leading to the misconception of truths and reality. The most important deficit is forthright honesty.

So...when I say that these people lack that drive to move forward, I am referring to those who love to live for the drama in life. They are willing to do anything...even if it means distorting the truth, setting up an argument, and in some cases, jeopardizing their marriage and their family just to create an emergency. My absolute question is what do you really get out of this? What do you gain by inflicting such disturbance? And what makes you even go there in the first place? Is it a lack of self-confidence, is it a seeking of attention from a particular subject, is it directed to make the other person feel bad, is it satisfying? What is the intention?

Growing up, and growing wise would be enticing only if you live within and according to your age is what Brigitte Bardot referred to when she came up with the quote. For such a quote to be in existence definitely tells us that there are some people in our society who falls off that track somewhere along the way while going through life. Mind you, I do not know Ms. Bardot personally or what she is really all about, but I will tell you one thing for certain, her quote caught my attention without question when this subject of growing up came to the forefront of my mind.

In my own personal life I may be just 20 something, but having accomplished my way into a career, a profession, experiencing the opportunity of raising children, of being my husband's wife, of being a mother to somebody, owning homes and being a tax-paying citizen...means a lot to me. These things are my livelihood and I worked and am working hard for them. My outstanding goal in life however, is to be the person that Ms. Bardot referred to..."the dear old lady" who is wise. I wish and hope that someday, when my daughter is a young lady, a young adult of her own...that she consults with me for advice on life...and seeks for help from me as her mother, who would only do the absolute best to show her how to live her life wisely, to steer her back into the right direction if she were to veer off road. And, I am pretty certain that those days will come; mistakes and errors are part of being a human. And this is not to say that I have learned all I could in life...I am learning everyday.

Now back to where I began with this point I am trying to make...some of the things that are missing from that picture includes an open mind--to learning and acceptance, maybe raising children--they teach you patience and selflessness, a job--having to do and work with coworkers. All of these things that we sometimes call things factor in on how we grow up, mature, and age intellectually. Not to mention, the values and morals that were ingrained into a family's foundation to create who you are and who you will become.

My wish for you is to live a life full of knowledge...to know your surroundings, to discover who you are, to know that knowledge and wisdom are two different things. Because to be knowledgeable is what aides you in performing your everyday job, whatever it is that you do for a living. But to be wise is what helps you to create a life that one would call enchanting. It's not the superficial things that is the determining factor on how well you did in life...it's the enlightened mind full of wisdom and of knowledge that results in the wise person one will be in his or her later years in life.

With all that said, growing up is one thing...but growing wise is another.