Contentment

This year, my new year’s resolution is quite unorthodox. Actually, I have never committed to any new year’s resolution in the past. No, I’m not perfect. I am human, too. It’s just that I just never gave it a second thought. I can appreciate the idea of recommitment, resolution, restoration, whatever have you. In my daily walk with Christ, I recommit myself to God every morning. Though I may be discouraged the previous day, I see every morning as a grand new day, wide open for me to fulfill His agenda and purpose for me. Whether I walk into work putting on the hat of a Patient Care Technician, a Charge Nurse, an Assistant Nurse Manager, a Clinical Nurse Manager, or a Director of Perioperative Services, or sometimes, all of the above, I go in with a heart willing to accept the day for what it is as I know that my daily goal is to the serve the Lord and others.

 

This new year, my resolution is one word: contentment. A good godly brother of mine, also a colleague at work, Mike, asked me if I’d ever heard of the one-word new year’s resolution. No, was my answer. Thanks to him, I prayed long and hard over this idea immediately after the new year commenced, not really for a specific resolution, but God put it on my heart to seek contentment in whatever I do in whatever role I play at home and at work. This was perfect for me, I thought. It comforted me to know that God has my best interest at heart, always. He has seen how restless I have become especially as it comes to my profession. I am passionate about work. My husband would say, “Honey, you’re the most passionate nurse and leader I have ever known.” Not that he knows a lot of nurses. Now, he does know the greatest leader, and that is our Lord, Jesus Christ who is the most passionate and compassionate. No comparison. Currently, I am an Interim Director of Perioperative Services overseeing operations and supporting nearly 400 healthcare professionals across the Central Valley at the Stockton, Manteca, and Modesto Hospitals. This position is quite temporary. There are days, like with any job, when I felt like giving up. All the issues, concerns, messes seemed to be piled on top of one another like Mt. Everest. There’s no way I can do this, I’d tell myself. But, that still small voice says, “Seda, be content with the output you have given today for tomorrow is another day.”

 

The thought of contentment stems from my childhood experiences and into my most recent visit to Cambodia in 2017. Ever since I was a child, my parents always taught us to give from a cheerful heart, to take care of the needy, and to help lift the underserved, not only in our very community, but, also throughout the world. I do not come from a family of wealth, quite the opposite, actually. I came from a low-income family nearing poverty. Even with having little, my parents still found the means and ways to take care of the poor and the needy through monetary gifts, clothing, food, and at times shelter—the basic human needs. Till this day, they have helped many Cambodian families in Cambodia build shelters that would not be swept away by strong gusts of winds or get damaged by the flood that Cambodia sometimes faces. Fast forward to 2017, we encountered many poor people while we visited. Some barely had 3 sets of outfits to change from, let alone a bowl of rice to sustain through the day. What was so complexing was that these beautiful people had big, genuine smiles that radiated the word: contentment. Therefore, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:11-13, NIV)”. This verse was written and well-stated by the apostle Paul in his epistle to the Christian church in Philippi. I’d like to expound on this further by sharing that contentment does not always refer to monetary value and things. More than anything, its inference is the current circumstances we’re in. To conclude, I am to be content in my interim role and commit to doing my best every day in higher position or lower position, all to the glory of God. I pray that God continues to use me for His good work on a daily basis, at home, at work, and in the world.

Greetings 2023!!!

If it is to Lead, Do it Diligently

In Romans 12:6-8, Paul shared with us, "We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement, if it is giving, then give generously; if it is lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy; do it cheerfully." 

For awhile now, I have prayed, pondered, and inquired among godly counsels in my life regarding the spiritual gift or gifts God has blessed me. I long and desire to know so that I can hone in on them to better serve the Lord who purposed me for His will. I understand that my professional background as a Director of Surgical Services equates to leading. However, this does not always mean that my spiritual gift is leadership. I do sense that leading is certainly on top of my spiritual gift and because of that, I commit to doing it diligently. 

What does diligent leadership look like? Why does it matter in my service to the Lord? What lasting impact can I make as a leader of healthcare professionals so that it can be carried on with them for a lifetime?

While I understand that the above list of gifts that Paul shared is limited as this certainly is not the complete list of spiritual gifts, I want to focus on the obvious in my life so that I can do my part as a follower of Jesus. Meanwhile, I can start to assess the spiritual gifts of those around me for the purpose of leaning on them where I am lacking so that the decisions I make in my life are well-rounded covering all of the bases of the truth. 

According to Chip Ingram, "the gift of leadership is the divine ability to notice what needs to be done, set goals to get it done, and then attract, motivate, and lead people who can accomplish the work of ministry." Ministry is not limited to the actual physical church. Ministry is in our every day work where we spend the majority of our time. For example, my ministry is at work and at home. I spend 5 days a week at a hospital somewhere whether that is in Stockton, Manteca, or Modesto. The latter part of my weekdays are spent at home with my husband and daughter. This is my other ministry. However, at work, my actual job is to lead people, nearly 400 employees in the Perioperative Services Department across the Central Valley.

I enjoy responsibility and stepping into gaps to help organize the disorganization of processes, practices, and workflows. Through all of that, I know that I have to love people through the process changes to see that outcomes and results are not only optimized, but also meaningful to the individuals and the team. I also enjoy seeing a need and would then envision a plan to meet the need. I must not lose sight of the spiritual purpose behind the projects that are executed. 

Another spiritual gift that I may have according to my best friend Linda (who went on to be with our Good Lord last year) and my Assistant Nurse Manager Nida, is prophecy. One Tuesday evening years ago, Linda shared with me that one of my spiritual gifts is prophecy. I laughed and responded, "Linda, I am no Isaiah and not even anywhere near it." Today, as I dove more into this spiritual gift of prophecy and how it could look in 2022, I can kind of understand where Linda was coming from and what Nida was trying to say. According to Chip Ingram, "the gift of prophecy is a divine ability to proclaim God's truth with power and clarity in a timely and culturally sensitive fashion for correction, repentance, or edification--"strengthening, encouraging and comfort" (1 Corinthians 14:3). Chip went on to say that people with the prophetic motivational gift: tend to be persuasive speakers, read people well, can come across as opinionated or insensitive, can depend on their speaking ability rather than on the power of the Holy Spirit if not careful. Whenever I am placed in a new position by God, I often ask, what went wrong here? I want to know in order to right the wrongs. Additionally, I desire to get to the heart of the real issues that need to be addressed and often gets overlooked. 

More on this another day...

But, as of today, Sunday, November 20th, I commit to leading my team diligently with the help of the Holy Spirit that lives in me. I am thankful to God for using me for His purpose and will. I commit to doing the good work daily to His glory.

Part 2: Antidote to Pride

 (This is a follow-up entry to my latest post, Setting Our Pride Aside) 

Personally, for me, the antidote to pride comes from dwelling on the message Paul shared in Colossians 3:12-17 which goes on to say:

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

In Colossians 3, Paul reminded his readers of their status as a people chosen by God (v. 12). Because we're chosen, we have certain obligations that are relational in nature. Since we have a reconciled relationship to God, to whom we were once enemies (1:21), we're to be in healthy relationship to each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. Therefore, Paul instructed us to put on the virtues listed as we would put on literal garments (2:12-14). The characteristics he shared are critical to establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. Our restored relationship to God should lead us to extend compassion, kindness, and patience to our fellow believers. This, however, means that we'll necessarily need to "bear with each other" when conflicts and misunderstandings arise (v. 13). We can't put on these virtues without love, "which binds them all together in perfect unity" (v. 14). -Tim Gustafson

Part 1: Setting Our Pride Aside

Sin is sin—no matter how big or small. Sin can be as big as murdering somebody and taking their actual life away. Indeed, this type of sin is comparable to the indirect murdering of a brother or sister by having hatred for them. In a world full of differing opinions, a plethora of religious choices to choose from, especially for Americans where there is tremendous freedom, there is of course, great conflict and controversy. It may seem a bit overwhelming or conflicting to some, or should I say, to most, as we live in such a liberal nation. But, when we really think about conflict among human beings in general because of differing opinions and ways of living, let us not overlook the great conflict among believers of Jesus. Statistics say that 1 out of 4 Americans proclaim their religious choice as Christianity. However, I'm conflicted as to why we are not more peaceful as a nation. This does not come to me by surprise because we have been forewarned by prophets of the Bible from the Ancient of Days in the Old Testament to the New Testament as taught by some the most credible apostles of Jesus including Peter, Paul, Timothy, and so forth. We were reminded that there will certainly be conflict among brothers and sisters over many different reasons, not only with biological siblings but also those brothers and sisters of Christ.

It may seem like there is no hope. This is not true. There is hope for reconciliation for broken relationships. First and foremost, we must reconcile our once broken relationship with God in order to successfully resolve issues with one another. It is never too late for reconciliation no matter how broken the situation may seem or how long the conflict has been allowed to go on without resolution or whatever the next excuse may be. The greatest news is that God allows us the opportunity to reconcile our relationship with Him first before we can attempt to resolve any brokenness between each other. And, the next good news is that God equips us with how to handle conflict through His step-by-step instructions in His Word paying close attention to Romans chapters 14 and 15. Paul shows us how to resolve conflict in a godly, winsome, and loving way.

The biggest step to committing to resolve any conflict between individuals whether at work or at home or in the broader world is the power to put one’s pride aside. This concept goes to believers and non-believers alike. Here’s the thing—when we don’t do this, we are not going to learn anything from the process and really, we wouldn’t be here today talking about it. We can also choose to take the easy route by just ignoring that there is a problem in the first place and allowing the issue to eat us up inside. This may be due to the desire to keep the peace that never existed in the first place or that there may be a lack of courage. Additionally, the point is not to point fingers or determine who is at fault or who sinned greater. The greatest point is that there is an issue that needs to be resolved. That issue may stem from general misunderstandings, or that there was a lack of genuine love and concern for one another, or simply that there is no interest in building a real, genuine relationship between each other. That is all fine and everything but when there is hurt and injury involved, the issue must be addressed and tended to.

When we attentively listen by, first of all, humbling ourselves before that tough conversation and allowing for the other person to open up, we set our posture for impartiality allowing for authentic and meaningful conversation to take root. We’re giving the other person the benefit of the doubt along with giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt because there may be some points or aspects that we have missed, especially, with so much brokenness in the world. Thus, we wouldn’t know any better because some of us may have come from broken and dysfunctional homes growing up. So, the next best thing to do, in our minds, is to put our guard up and ‘protect’ ourselves from being hurt. This type of response is natural.

But, really, at the end of the day, the question is: what if the person meant it for good and not for bad. Just like what God reminded us in His Word through the life of Joseph as told in Genesis chapters 37 through 50. Towards the latter part of Joseph’s life, his response to his brothers who tried to kill him when he was a boy was, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20 NIV). Now let’s put this verse into context. As mentioned earlier, brothers and sisters quarrel, conflict comes up all the time (in one word: drama). Even from the beginning of time, we were given a classic example in the life of Joseph where he was supposed to have been murdered by his brothers but God saved him. Joseph’s loving and righteous response to his brothers, the same brothers who attempted to kill him years earlier, who later on had to put their pride aside, and are now begging the rich and powerful Joseph to feed them for they had been starving for months, is an example of how we ought to love and be as believers. Therefore, brothers and sisters, let us be reminded as Paul reminded us in Romans12:19: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”

Through these scriptures shared here along with Joseph's life as one prime example out of the Bible, I truly hope and pray that we examine our hearts by asking God to further search our hearts. Secondly, we must ask ourselves: who in our lives where conflict resolution needs to take place in a loving and winsome way through the help of the Holy Spirit?

Then, pray for the person, pray for the situation, ask God for wisdom on how to move forward and for to show you how to address the conflict. If possible, and if the other person is willing, meet in private, and have a heart-to-heart discussion before God, who is first of all filled with unfailing love, mercy, faithfulness, fairness and forgiveness.

May the Lord bless you and keep you.

Boundaries vs. Obligations

Today, I am personally at a crossroad when it comes to the holidays, weddings, and funerals. I understand that obligations are obligations—and as my parents reminded me, over and over again, from when I was a child to an adult today, fulfilling obligations is quite important and somewhat required of me and of any normal human being. Maybe they’re speaking from a very traditional Cambodian/Chinese/Buddhist perspective which at times I can relate, but then, there are occasions which I can’t relate. Even they would agree with some of the decisions I have made and would encourage for me to do what is unorthodox, like declining to attend some of the family events I have been invited to. Then, yet again, they contradict themselves, saying family is family and blood is thicker than water. 

 

This Christmas, we invited my best friend's family to our home a few weeks earlier, out of pure love and care, to ensure that we fulfill the obligation of caring for them after my best friend went home to be with the Lord earlier this year. However, they have decided to just keep it to themselves this Christmas which we totally understand and respect. No harsh feelings and we're hopeful for next year or the next or the next. Since the declination, my husband and I pondered on what our Plan B would be. I listed the extended families that we could possibly invite and host, my side of the family or his side of the family or take up on an invitation. It would be fun. But, he politely declined. Not the typical response I would get from my socially-oriented husband. I asked why. He simply stated that he just wanted a quiet, peaceful, and intimate Christmas. He wanted to focus on the birth of Jesus and what His birth means to all of humanity. I was pleasantly surprised to hear this from him. I am thankful to know that this was what he really wanted after all and I couldn't agree more. 

Guilt is certainly another factor that somehow finds itself in to my heart and mind after I have firmly decided one way or another. After many gatherings at our homestead over the years and going over to someone else’s home for the holidays—whether Thanksgiving or Christmas, or other holidays that aren't so significant, we have been occasionally burnt leaving a bitter taste in our mouths. Prior to these gatherings and invitations, we anticipate so much. Our hearts pitter and patter with thoughts on how it will be, and so many what-ifs come to mind. Post-gathering, we become somewhat traumatized by some of the harsh words or questioning of our being as if we are not enough. Personally, I'm even made to believe that I'm this big, bad person.  Conversations replay in my mind causing for my blood to boil up inside me, compelling second-thoughts, reminding me to meditate, forgive, and let it all go..."For they know not what they do."

 

So, really, the phrase, “Good vibes only,” should really mean: be nice, be kind, be supportive, and most importantly, be real, be genuine, be authentic with love for you cannot be the former without the latter. And, you certainly cannot be the latter without LOVE. Therefore, if you can’t be all of the above to each individual you invite to your home or as a guest to someone else’s home, then don’t even bother. What humanity is lacking is genuine love for one another. Because of this depravity, the world is a darker place filled with human beings who are angry, lonely, depressed, sad, anxious, etc. because they're too busy being envious and jealous of each other...too busy trying to keep up with the Joneses, that the words that come out of their mouths reflect truly what's inside their hearts. Pretentious love is freely given with empty words and forced smiles that don’t warm up the core of the bones leaving half-empty hearts that go unfilled. Pretentious is such the word that would not be used to describe me if I were asked to describe myself. It’s an ugly thing to be. Yet, at times, I’m almost forced to be pretentious to get things going along for the time being. Because, let’s face it, not everything is peaches and cream, not all relationships are on good terms. People are afraid to go deep in conversations for they are afraid of what revelations/truths would surface and how these truths would affect the others’ feelings.

 

Therefore, boundaries are boundaries. My boundaries may be more specific filled with many little requirements than others. I am not putting this out there to declare that I cannot live with the world. I will still do my best to live in peace with the world. But, I will limit myself to toxicity which can so quickly and easily spread ruining my mindset in a very real way just as Paul reminded us in 1 Corinthians 15:32-34 (NIV), “Do not be misled. Bad company corrupts good character. Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop spinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God – I say this to your shame.” So, brothers and sisters, what you do today matters for eternity. In light of eternity, sin is a foolish gamble. Your belief in the resurrection will affect your view of the future. Most significantly, it also ought to affect how you live today.

 

I am not writing this out of hate or spite. I am doing my best to also love my enemies. We all know and can acknowledge that we have enemies in this life. But, I don’t and never will wish any ill-thoughts upon them…only pray for them to see the truth for what it stands. And, today, that truth is the birth of Jesus Christ born to be our savior over 2000 years ago. He came so that we may have life…in eternity. He came to wipe away all our sins even as we are still sinners so that we may know how deep His love is for each and everyone of us. Today, I pray that you may understand the depth of His unfailing love for all of us even when we don’t deserve it. 

May your Christmas be filled with humility and gentle kindness given, and received.

Believing Without Seeing

The year 2019 was filled with many ups and downs, running the gamete of all kinds of emotions from joy to fear to excitement to heartaches to hopefulness. We were presented with good news and bad. All in all, we never really know what comes next. Only God knows. He is the controller of our lives. So, to still try to have control over our own lives is almost foolish. And, we all know how hard it is to surrender all. Doubt comes knocking on the door to our hearts. Fear creeps in. Before we know it, we become doubting Thomas. We have given Thomas this negative connotation. But, at times, we are just like him. So, how do we position our hearts to have full faith and confidence in our Lord who is full of grace, love, and mercy?

Jesus said to Thomas, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29 (NIV)

My best friend Linda was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in late 2018. Two rounds of chemotherapy later, she received this life-prolonging surgery called the Whipple procedure. Through hope and prayers, she successfully recovered from this surgery. To give her an extra layer of protection, the doctor decided she’d benefit from radiation. We celebrated every step of the way through tears and laughter and praises and prayers.

Then, a CT Scan was done after all those treatments to see whether all was clear and good to go. Unfortunately, another spot was seen on her liver. Bummer! I thought to myself. The stupid little cancer needs to go away and stay away. After all this, it may be all too easy for us to open that door and let doubt come in to hang out and linger long enough for fear and anger to join in. However, Jesus reminds us to have faith. He is the great Physician and Healer and He said to the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years, who came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She did it and proclaimed she’d be healed. He said to her, “Take heart, daughter. Your faith has healed you.” Matthew 9:20-22.

My constant reminder to Linda is to hang on to His coattail, commit to the mountain, go through rounds of chemotherapy, radiation, and whatever you need to do, again. This season, we are going to continue to walk by faith, and not by sight as Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 5:7. God knows of our heartaches, fear, doubt, and shame. His perfect grace and mercy is sufficient to carry us through and it’s just what we need. And, He is asking us to commit to that mountain, as Pastor Brian Benton calls it, because He will help us climb up that mountain, every day. 

Learning from the Geese in Leadership

Leaders should never stop learning and growing, especially as nurses in the health care profession. To be an effective leader, you must first be an active follower and participant in the team you are leading. The roles of a follower and a leader should be interchangeable and must be switched when the time calls for it for many different reasons. The failure to do so could lead to preventable disengagement of the entire team eventually losing sight of the end goal. One of the primary objectives of a leader should be to experience successful outcomes knowing what factors led the team to that accomplishment. There are many principle components in the making of a competent leader, including the ability to communicate well and often, collaborate and network with the interprofessional team, problem-solve and troubleshoot issues based on renowned nursing models, having a shared vision for the improvement of structure, culture and morale, being a risk manager and coming up with action plans, empowering others in the team to lead and take leadership roles within the organization, and continued development of oneself as an individual, a professional, and a leader (Grossman & Valiga, 2017, p. 109). More power to the team whose members already encompass some of these components as individuals.

With ongoing demand for nurses to function as leaders in their areas of work, they must be given proper tools, support, encouragement, and definitely a great role model of a good leader to successfully run the operations of the daily work. This exemplifies a team collaborating well together with a great sense of awareness including appreciation for one another’s expertise and strengths along with the differences that each member of the team has to offer. Additionally, individuals of the team must possess courageous behavior to speak up and challenge the leader and each other when needed, especially when things are headed in the wrong direction. It is almost like running a code blue—each person has their role in the active pursuit of saving the life of the person who had just experienced cardiac arrest. If the physician orders for a dose of epinephrine to be given when instead, a cardiac shock should be delivered, the physician is relying on his or her team members to speak up to correct the order given. Being a follower is not a passive role. And, when the follower speaks up and challenges something that does not seem right, this action demonstrates leadership. As well-stated by Grossman and Valiga (2017), “Nurses need to mentor each other and call on the strengths of one another, much like geese who fly in a “V” formation” (p. 118).

As an assistant nurse manager of perioperative services, I am in constant quest for leaders within my team. I take the time to get to know my people. I learn their strengths and weaknesses, observe how they lead in their own areas of work, find strategic ways to turn their weaknesses into opportunities for growth, and analyze how their strengths can contribute to the whole good of the department outside of their patient care roles in terms of projects and committees. I am well-aware that I cannot do it all on my own in the successful operations of my department. This awareness comes with much self-reflection on my part to see my own strengths and weaknesses. I also need to realize when I need help from my team, peers and other mentors in my discipline. To successfully run and lead the daily workflow and operations of my department, I need more than 2 to 3 other ‘leaders’ for those back up plans when sick calls come in or vacation coverage is needed, and so forth. Because of this awareness, I strategically place my leaders where they are needed and would benefit the most. I intentionally pair up a weak operating room circulator with a strong surgical technician, or vice versa, to balance out the performance of the team encouraging the high-performing individual to help guide the other. I share these strategies with my team members so that they are aware of my goals and intention and become successful in problem-solving on their own in my absence. I do my best to setup my department in a way that when I am off-campus for class, conferences, or meetings, the other ‘leaders’ in my department can still function without me.

Leading is no easy task. We are all leaders in our daily roles whether we are bedside nurses, clinical nurse educators, or nurse managers. Whatever specialty or role we chose to be as nurses, we are leading the way to influencing and impacting this health care industry in many positive ways through our leadership in the areas we work. But, first, let us not forget that we must be good followers in order to also be great leaders in an effort of making a lasting impact delivering quality care and positive outcomes. To get there, we must work together with a shared, common vision and mission. We need to build others up and see the potential in each individual to lead, creating sustainable outcomes. Let us all learn from the geese in their leadership!

References

Grossman, S. & Valiga, T.M. (2017). The new leadership challenge-creating the future of nursing (5^th ed.). Philadelphia, PA: F.A. Davis Company.

My Inner Struggle

I’m a mom and a nurse. These are two pretty difficult and challenging jobs God blessed me with—and at times, it can be quite an emotional roller coaster. Over the last 13 years of my life, I have learned what it means to be a mom to a beautiful, willful, and fierce daughter. And, I continue to learn and grow as a mother.  It is not by any stretch of the imagination an easy duty. I am continually challenged with how to raise my daughter to be more like Christ in an imperfect world. Along with these challenges, I live in doubt and fear. I have doubts whether I am raising my daughter the right way, teaching her the right skills (life skills and home skills) from practical to complex, exposing her to the right influence and so on.

I do my best. We do our best as parents. My husband has been overwhelmingly supportive every step of the way. I’m proud of him. The many big important life-decisions we have made over the past several years we hope are shaping her up to be the young lady we long to see and most importantly, what God longs to see. We enrolled her into Sacred Heart Catholic School here in Patterson and it has been a wonderful journey. Although there have been some downs such as bullying, facing the mean-girls at school trying to mess with her self-confidence and self-esteem—Jewelene got through it and we overcame it together as a family. So far, at 13 years old (a teenager), I feel that Jewelene has great self-confidence with high self-esteem. She gets pretty excited about attending youth group activities at our new church called New Life Christian Center. She loves making new friends and sharing God stories with them. We recently transitioned into a different church in town and left our other family at Adventure Christian Church. We are all doing well as a family and as individuals in this difficult transition. We are embracing what God has to offer and doing our best to be servants of His. We were with Adventure for a good 4-5 years and leaving was one of the hardest things to do in life. But, God heals and recovers.

Back to my doubts as a mom, sometimes I question whether I focus too much on my other job as a nurse. Over the last 10 years of being a nurse, I have been faced with many new opportunities: from being a nursing supervisor at a skilled nursing facility to being the assistant director of nursing services there. Then I went on to working in the hospital as an acute care nurse. It became boring to me and so, I decided to pick up a whole new specialty as a nurse in the operating room. I remember the day vividly when I went into the director of surgical services office asking Sandy Mayer for a job in her department. I got the job. Within 2.5 months I was trained to circulate. A few months later, I was offered another job in the department to scrub open heart surgeries. The calls were rough—I’d be on call 7 days at a time every 3^rd week rotating with two other open heart scrub nurses. In the meantime, I was going to school to attain a Bachelor’s degree in nursing. It got to be pretty demanding trying to juggle raising a little daughter with my husband, working overtime, and going to school. Then God, saw all this and blessed me with a surgery center position where the hours were just what I needed (no calls, no weekends, no holidays). I was able to achieve my Bachelor’s degree goal and graduated from Grand Canyon University. Then, back to the hospital again, this time a Level 2 trauma center in the OR. Two years later, I was promoted to become a clinical coordinator for surgery covering several surgical service lines. This is where I currently leave off. Am I exhausted? Yes, absolutely! In fact, I think I am about 2 years into sleep deprivation. I can sleep in and take many naps all day long if I had the luxury to do so. Am I fulfilled? Maybe. These are many accomplishments and achievements in which I had never planned in my wildest dreams. Did God plan for all this to happen? No doubt about it!

Now, as I sit here on my day off and ponder my life as a mother after dropping off “Oh deer!” at school on Halloween morning—I wonder if I am doing all I can for little miss Jewelene. Sure, there’ll be times when she’ll be faced with trials and tribulations of many kinds and I will want to save her and do whatever I can to prevent all that from happening. But, then I wouldn’t be doing her any favor. James reminds us why Christians and human beings in general face trials and tribulations. James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ spoke to the 12 tribes scattered among the nations, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (NIV, James 1:1-4) We can turn our hardships into times of learning, growing, and maturing. This is what we’ve been trying to encourage Jewelene with when she comes home and shares with us her challenging day(s). It doesn’t happen too often but it happens nonetheless. We would give her pointers and tips on how she should handle the situation in the future. There are times when we need to intervene as parents because there are certain things that are out of a teenager’s control. For instance, I reached out to one of the moms at the school to inform her that her daughter was not treating Jewelene kindly. We (as in the 2 moms and 2 daughters) met up for coffee the immediate Saturday morning to discuss the whys and how to resolve the issue. Two months later, things have improved between the two girls. They’re not best friends or anything close to it. But, the poor treatment towards Jewelene has subsided substantially. And, we always check in with her on a regular basis asking how that relationship is coming along. It has been uneventful on that regard.

Things don’t come easy and problems just do not go away if unaddressed. We can continue to wonder why God gives us sufferings, not only to adults but to children and teenagers, also. We must overcome hardships in order for His promises to get fulfilled. Some of those promises include greater hope and faith in Him along with an even greater confidence about the future. The problems that we face on a daily basis will develop our perseverance—which in turn will strengthen our character and deepen our trust in God. Just as Paul stated it clearly on peace and hope, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (NIV, Romans 5:1-5) Beautifully stated right? Hopeful? Very much so! This is the scripture I stand on when I have doubts and fears and am faced with challenges at work and at home.

Reminder: being a mom to a teenager in the 21^st century is no easy task, especially with technology becoming more and more innovative. I just know in my heart that God gives me struggles because out of them—something certain is being produced. One certainty is my greater trust in God—trusting that He will carry me through and help me overcome my challenging days. Yes, as a mom and a nurse! My patience is being tested every day in some way. Some days I want to take my surgical cap off and call it quits. But, I am no quitter because God never quit on me nor will He ever. And, then there are certain days when I just want to go into the room and shut the world out because my teenager is too much to bear—with the attitude and the talking back. But, then I don’t. Because God never did that to me nor will He ever.

With that said I am going to do my best to be an intentional parent in our discipline and raising of Jewelene. I pray and pray that she will grow up to be a Romans 12 Christian. It’s sad and depressing to think that she only has a little over 4 years with us in this household before she’ll move out to go to college. It sure feels like we still have a lot of work to do in the 4 years. Please pray for us.

A Refreshing Kind of Partnership

As a family, we have had the great opportunity of attending other churches in our travels. We travel a considerable amount--weekend trips, international trips, out of the state trips and so forth. What we have enjoyed most in our travels is visiting different churches whenever we can. My husband and I have made it a point to attend a Bible-teaching church when we are out of town on a given Sunday.

 One of my favorite visits was when we visited Santa Cruz for the weekend. On our drive home Sunday morning, we intentionally stopped at Chip Ingram's Church called Venture Christian Church in Los Gatos, California. I had been tuning in to "Living on the Edge" on my podcast during my drive to work. I've grown a lot spiritually-speaking as an individual, a mother and a wife through listening to Chip's teachings along with some words of encouragement and application for work-life and life in this world in general. That Sunday morning, we walked into Venture without knowing what was on the agenda or who will be sharing the message--will it be Chip himself or one of his associate pastors. We were blessed! We got to see and hear Chip Ingram in the flesh. Wow! Just like how he sounds in his podcasts, same demeanor, and everything else. I was just glad to be there. It was nice to finally see in person someone who has shared and spoken God's Word into my life and has given me the spiritual filling I needed.

 Aside from being in awe of seeing someone I have long-respected and appreciated, the question is: what was the message that I was able to take home from Chip's sermon that morning?

 One word: partnership. It was partnership that I needed to hear. After all, we are in this world as Christians of the same kind of Spirit. Just as Paul spoke to the people of Corinth concerning spiritual gifts: "There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work," 1 Corinthians 12:4-6, NIV. What this means to me is we need not to be a church divided. Instead, we must reach out to other Bible-teaching churches, plug ourselves in to what other churches provide in which our own does not, and welcome others into our fellowship as well. There are certainly different gifts, places of service or worship, and activities which vary from congregation to congregation. Therefore, we must NOT limit ourselves to only what our church is offering for the spiritual growth of ourselves and our families--because all of these differences in gifts combined provide the best effects when they build up the body of Christ--the church.

This was what Chip encouraged in his sermon and message to the people that morning. He emphasized that churches must come together and partner with one another to continue on this mission to grow in spiritual thinking and living. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but once you come to the idea or belief that your church is the only true church of God and Christians should only come to your church, you are doing a disservice to Christ himself. Praise God and rejoice in the fact that He uses different Christian churches all over the world to minister to souls like yours and mine.

My encouragement to you brothers and sisters is: do not be afraid to venture out. I am not asking you to be a butterfly—fly to where the “Lord leads you that Sunday.” No! Not at all. It is spiritually healthy and important to be a member of a church that is able to offer you that spiritual filling when you are thirsty—in worship and in your service to the congregation. But, when you find yourselves still parched for the Word, for deeper and more profound messages—you must go and have a conversation with God, one-on-one and you ask him for guidance and where He truly needs to lead you. You’ll be surprised by what He’ll show you. And, when you go to Him in truth and in righteousness, whatever you ask will be given, when you seek,you will find, and when you knock, the door will be open.

My Spiritual Spinning Class

One Tuesday evening in March of this year, I plopped down in my friends chair in her home preparing for our regular Tuesday night Bible Study with a big sigh that came out of me. Linda asked, “Why the big sigh, Seda?” I thought about why I sighed, I mean I sigh pretty regularly throughout the day—either to catch my breath, or out of relief, or I have no words for this situation. I responded, “You know, Linda, I feel like I’m in a spinning class—but, a spiritual one if you will or so I hope.”

Lately, I have been quite frustrated with the way things are going at church. Yes, I’ll be absolutely honest. I just don’t feel like we are moving and growing spiritually as a church. Maybe, it’s just me because my husband appears enthusiastic, encouraged, and motivated after service every Sunday. I mean every Sunday! As soon as we leave church and get into our car on our way to brunch, he is just filled with emotions and excitement on what he has learned that he cannot wait and hold off on saying something before we even leave the parking lot. I used to be that way; I had that kind of enthusiasm. But, now…what happened? Instead, I find myself doodling on the sermon notes in church while pastor is preaching. I used to take notes vigorously and throughout the week I would go through what I’ve learned from pastor and try to apply it to my daily living. Some weeks, those notes and lessons were so worth sharing that I would try and relive and retell the sermon to my friend Linda.

I have felt restless lately as though I’ve heard our pastor preaching on that same topic or subject last year and the year before and the year before that. But, I know and would like to acknowledge that each time I hear it, he presents it in a different light and approach. This is truly valid because some require hearing it in a different analogy, perspective, or angle. Just like in the Bible, the writers reiterated many times on the same topics over and over but in a different time, place, and environment. So, the question remains—shouldn’t I still be able to relate? Like how seasons change in our lives? So, shouldn’t something else in the sermon stand out at me and speak to my heart? Maybe I really am not paying attention or opening up my heart to God. Maybe I need to wake up the Holy Spirit that is supposed to be alive in me.

And, my final question is: am I in a stagnant phase, spiritually speaking, or am I ready for the next thing as a maturing Christian? I have asked God, I have communed with Him, and I’ve shared this with my wise and godly counsel and sister in Christ, Linda. Currently, I am in the “Spiritual Spinning Class.” Maybe I am just waiting for my husband to catch up while I build spiritual endurance by getting into The Word daily, hearing and soaking in what Pastor Ken has to share on Sunday mornings (after all, he has been anointed by God and given the gift of the Holy Spirit to speak to us so we can grow in Christ and have an everlasting relationship with Him), listening to other great pastors out there like Chip Ingram, Pastor Paul of Fremont, CA, and Rick Warren, and most importantly, by rejoicing in the Lord always by prayer and petition (Philippians 4:4-9, NIV). As I keep in step with all of these points of obedience in love, I am surely on the right path of spiritual growth and endurance. I don’t know what race or marathon God is preparing me for with this spiritual spinning class, but I am absolutely excited!

Let’s pray: Dear Heavenly Father, the Creator of this Universe, and the Planner of all things that go on in life— I come to You today asking for help and guidance to be in your will, your love, and your holy presence. I know that sometimes, Lord, I get distracted thinking that I have already ran that marathon, but may You open up my heart to many more marathons for You. And, You know that in order for me to run my marathon well, I need spiritual endurance. May You continue to grow me spiritually by coming to You and depending on You more and more that I cannot go on in this world without You because I am so dependent upon You. This is what You want, this is your will! Let my mornings be filled with excitement when I come to You as I seek for help from You for each and every day. I love You—and may that love be radiated to those around me.

In your Son’s great and glorious name I pray, Amen.

Let me close with this wonderful scripture (a favorite of mine) JoJo Garcia has shared with me this morning after service (November 5th, 2017): “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”—Romans 8:28 NKJV

His Greatness, Incomprehensible

"Let faith support us where reason fails, and we shall think because we believe, not in order that we may believe." -AW Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy

I am continually amazed by God's greatness. The moment I think I know who He is and what He is all about, I am allowed and blessed to see another side to Him I did not know before. He is transparent at that moment and that moment only, and then I am left to wonder, again. I am revealed to His exponential power and greatness, his sovereignty and authority above all.

I suppose I will not get to really know who He really is while I'm here on earth--not until I'm home, but only what or how He is like in my journey and investigation through the Old and the New Testaments of the Bible AND of course, through His one and only Son, Jesus. The experiences in my life also help me better understand Him and get to know Him. I get to see His work and touches and even how He thinks put on display in those special moments. There were many times when I was in awe and inarticulate. I was only able to fathom his divine appointments for me. I am certain there will be plenty more of these moments. It's that inner joy that when such things do occur, all I can say is, "That is why I believe in God and why I put my faith and trust in Him." It is to those unanswerable moments when my faith is made stronger in Him. It makes me crave to know Him more and to get closer and closer to Him. And, it's not that I want the answers to everything in life or to be satisfied with what I get. My longing to know the real God is insatiable. I will always seek to know Him for as long as I shall live.

Experiences also add to what I know of Him. From those experiences, my faith in Him is there, contently, so--knowing how He has carried me through, good and bad. I am left to reason and ponder who God really is. From the time I was born to this very day--all experiences lead up to the God I know today.

"Faith is an organ of knowledge, and love an organ of experience." -AW Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy

The God I know today is a God who is full of grace, mercy, and wisdom—a God whose love has never failed me thereby, showing me how to love.

He is a jealous God who wants me to worship Him only. Not my husband, my daughter, my career, my friends and family, money, things--outside superficial, material things. He requires for me to worship Him only.

He asks me to give my family to Him, my valuables and belongings to Him because they are not mine. They are His. I am His.

The God I know today is One whom I can go to and confide in because He listens. He has heard my cries and seen my tears. He has answered prayers and heard my praises as I rejoice and shout out to Him.

He is a God who cares. His heart breaks when my heart breaks. When I am down on my knees in despair, He leans over and puts His hand out to lift me up again.

After all, He gave me the gift of emotions because He feels and He hurts for me. He laughs and cheers me on. He makes me joyful even when circumstances are hard because of His presence.

The God I know today has my best interest at heart--even when it means I would have to live and go through mistakes, but from those mistakes--He raises me up. Oh, how He raises me up! He gives me lessons and rebukes me because He loves me so!

He is a God who provides all things. He gave me this gift of life--the gift of being a wife to my dear husband and a mother to my loving daughter. He gave me the talent of being a nurse with a compassionate heart...because I have seen His compassion at work--all around because He is omnipresent.

The God I know is a God of second-chances and many more. He is omnipotent full of glorious power that sustains me and YOU, through and through. He knows of my hurt, shame, regrets and disappointments. He is omniscient. And, because of this...because He is all-knowing, I am comforted.

Oh, the God I know...
                 the God I love, the God I adore...
                                                    Oh, the God I know.

Perception Matters Much

We are faced with circumstances on a daily basis--in our relationships with our families, children, coworkers, friends and acquaintances. The tendency is to complain about what we go through, as if we're the only ones going through the situation. News flash! You are not the only one walking this planet.

My most recent goal has been to be intentional about being filled with joy and contentment no matter the circumstance. Boy, has it been a difficult mission! I want to be like the apostle Paul minus all the horrible and inhumane things he went through. I want the easy way. But, then God says, "Seda, how will you appreciate Me if I don't give you this to deal with or that to think about? Do you doubt me? Watch and see how I will carry you through!"

He is certainly right! Because, boy, am I convicted when I face a difficult circumstance and wonder how I got through it without further and permanent damage! I look up to God and thank Him for carrying me through.

Back to the point, yes, I want to be like Paul but without all the inconvenience--the pain, suffering, and torture. And, like Jesus when He walked this earth. Jesus faced many, many trials and accusations. And, the false accusation of blasphemy was why the Pharisees took away His life and crucified Him. Many times in our lives, we will be persecuted, but how will we rise from it? Will we fight back with resistance and with how we've been treated or how God asks for us to--which are with love and prayers?

Paul said to the Philippians (4:12), "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." To be wise, filled with knowledge, certainty, and the Holy Spirit like him would require a whole lot of trials and tribulations. It is through those difficult times that produced character and wisdom in Paul.

I admire how Paul dealt with the circumstances he faced in his lifetime. Most of all, I admire his perception. As long as we can get our perception focused on the one truth and that truth is that we already have "great gain" according to Pastor Bill Craig of Trinity Baptist Church of Livermore, California--we are GOOD! That great gain is having our Savior, and personally knowing who He is. So take advantage of this relationship and appreciate it by building a stronger and stronger relationship with Him. Paul has concluded that he has learned the secret of being content in any and every situation because he acknowledged that he had already been given great gain and that is the gift of the Holy Spirit in our lives--the gift we received from God for the fact that Christ could no longer walk this earth with us, but He is walking in us--in our bodies, the holy temple for which the Holy Spirit resides.

To elaborate on Pastor Craig's previous teaching, we are beyond blessed. And,when we realize this--we start to be more thankful of what we already have. We've been redeemed, forgiven, saved, and accepted into His kingdom. Did you know that we are adopted children of His? That means He already paid that full price of adoption for us and we are His children.

Let's live like we are His children--by first accepting His love, accepting Him into our lives, confessing that He is the One, True God and love Him. Reciprocate that love back to Him. And, then we must love our neighbor as ourselves, His second command for us (Matthew 22:36-39).

Are we privileged or what?

We are beyond blessed brothers and sisters--let's live with that knowledge and purpose in mind.

You are His.

 

My other great gain!

The Value of Just Listening

Have you ever been frustrated with someone who just needed to listen to what you had to say, but they wouldn’t allow you to finish your point or sentence or assumed they heard you say or mean something else? Has your wife or husband ever told you, “I wish you would just listen, honey.”? Have you ever thought: I wish she would just ask me what I really meant, hear my story, so she can help me better, instead of jumping to conclusion?

Listening makes people feel loved, valued, affirmed, and that you sincerely and genuinely care about them. It is one of the most important factors to communication and understanding. Listening does not equate to hearing. God gave us ears to hear and a heart to understand. Put your heart into hearing to listen well.

We all have a passion or two about some things in our lives. As adults, we have some sort of leadership such as parenting, taking care of our patients, being a bible study group leader. And, being a great leader means you must have great listening skills because it leads to better problem-solving, understanding, and trust from the other person.

Most recently, I have been really passionate about what it means and what it takes to be a good listener because I have been on that other end. For instance, I was expressing a concern I had at a staff meeting and my supervisor jumps right in and makes an assumption about what she thought I meant instead of asking me to clarify or even give examples to my concern. Another situation was when I was going over some of the feelings and concerns I had with my husband about household stuff, and in the middle of my sentence, he told me he understands and doesn’t need for me to reiterate. These are classic examples of poor listening. It’s as if I have been rejected and the feelings I experienced were: I am not worthy, I am not loved, my concerns do not matter, I have been misunderstood…

So, really, the question is…do we want to be that person? If we fail to listen to our fellow man, to other people, to our friends, to our spouse, to our children, so we fail to listen carefully to the instructions of the Lord. Paul warned us against quenching the Spirit in 1 Thessalonians 5:19. This goes hand-in-hand with actively listening to the Holy Spirit who is in us in those who have accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior. Listening well is vital for understanding the communicator. It lets the other person know that their feelings, concerns, and fears are not being extinguished or quenched. Listening well helps you to fully understand the person’s concerns, fears, anxiety, belief, and so on. It helps you to break down that wall one brick at a time. Therefore, do not diminish another person due to your poor listening skills. Instead, listen carefully to what the other person has to say. Ask questions. Clarify.

When my husband and I went to marriage counseling a few years ago, one of the most important things we learned about our marriage was that we were not great communicators. We were terrible. My take-away from the counseling was the ability and the need to mirror our conversation with each other. Our therapist had us mirroring each other’s sentences. It helped a whole lot in terms of understanding what the other person had to say. But, how did that fall by the wayside? We have to truly be proactive about actively listening to show that we care.

James, Jesus’ brother, a leader in the Jerusalem church advised us, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19, NIV). When we do not listen or listen too little and speak too much, we are communicating to the other person that what we think, our ideas, and our concerns are more important than theirs. We must be aware and keep track of our listening and our talking. Smoke detectors should come on when we are just hearing and not listening, when we talk about our life situation more than asking the other person about how they are doing or what they are going through. Let the other person know that you care about them, that you love them, and that they have value in your life by actively listening and verify that their points have been understood. Let this hit home with you: “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame” (Proverbs 18:13, ESV). God gave us ears to hear, so let your heart and mind listen for understanding.

Connecting God's Dots

As a child, I really enjoyed the activity called "Connect the Dots". It is a safe and secure activity. If you simply follow the rules and directions, you'll feel like a winner every time after it is done. There's a variety of "Connect the Dots" pictures, from easy level (connecting the dots from 1-2-3 or A-B-C) to expert level (connecting the dots to the next number by 5's as in 5-10-15-20). And, guaranteed in the end, if you followed the dots as you should, you will end up with a complete image or picture of anything from butterflies to a house to a dog. And, have those colored pencils ready because you will get to color that final picture.

As an adult and as a child of God, I tend to refer my discipline to connecting His dots. Making decisions that are based on His will is not an easy or simple task as a maturing Christian. My decisions must be situated upon prayers, scriptures, communing with God on a constant basis in order to move to the correct proceeding dot.

To connect the dots effectively and to live effectively, our gaze must remain upon Him. If we look away, we will stumble. And, there are times when we do lose focus, but the good news is that at least God allows a redo or two if we repent and obey Him just as how He commanded the woman who was caught in adultery as told by John 8:11 (NIV), "Then neither do I condemn you...Go and sin no more." We would still have a chance at creating that beautiful end-picture when His dots are connected properly. There will be mistakes along the way, but we must surrender everything to God and allow for Him to help us through.

I can't wait to see the result after my dots provided by God are connected. It is a long road, but we must remain focused on Him and His promises. Can you imagine what eternity will be like? Picture yourself in this and meditate on this great promise found in Revelation 21:1-8 as follows:

 

Then I saw "a new heaven and a new earth," for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Look! God's dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain for the old order of things has passed away."

Wow...what a beautiful picture! Can you imagine??? This is a tremendous hope and encouragement for the believer. It definitely encourages me to stay within the road to get to the next dot. And, along the way, we always learn something. Just pay attention to those yield signs, stop signs, and warning signs...do as you're told. And, the beautiful eternity awaits us marked with "walls made of jasper and the city of pure gold, as pure as glass. The foundations of the city walls are decorated with every kind of precious stone..." (Revelation 21:18-19, NIV).

    (Image from godandhisrevelation.com)

Welcoming February

It is the first of the month...the month of February, the shortest month of all, but this year, we get an extra day. I am always excited about new beginnings...a new month, a new week, a new day, a new job, a new chapter...and the list goes on.

Today is the beginning of a new month and even a new Bible Study with some of the ladies from Adventure Christian Church. We are focusing on Beth Moore's Study entitled Living Beyond Yourself based on the Fruit of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23. It is such an awesome topic of study in the Bible. I've been meaning to study this on my own, but as my excuse would go...we've been crazy busy here at home--especially with contractors in and out to repair things around here, paperwork needing to be sent to the loan originator for a new home, and signing the agreement to selling this home and a separate agreement to purchasing the new home. (I still think it's a good enough excuse to putting off studying the Fruit of the Spirit.) But, as God would have it, this is the chosen topic of Bible Study this spring season. What excuses do you have now, Seda? (smiles God)... And, even better, I am doing it with a small group rather than all alone.

Back to the beginning of this new day, this new week, and this new month...my morning started with getting up out of bed and encouraging myself to be joyful and loving as it is a grand new day! And, something else to celebrate...I get to have the day off from work! Boy, what am I going to do with all my time? I already had a schedule in my head...but, as the morning kicked off, I just kept going and surprises kept rolling in!

Walked to school with a grumpy 5th grader who just got lectured and a supportive husband on a very windy, but sunny morning.

Came back home and saw my husband off to work.

Made a cup of coffee for myself, blasted Chip Ingram's sermon on the surround sound system at home while juggling laundry, dishes, making beds, putting things away and tidying things up. What a pain it is to try and sell a home that is lived-in! I have to police the family and make sure they put things away after they are done using them, and always being ready for our agent to show the house to anyone at any given time. This is the chapter that I can't wait to see it come to fruition.

Went to bible study at 10 a.m. and mingled with the gals for a few minutes after the study.

Picked up lunch for my husband as I have promised.

Rushed back home to make sure that the house is spic and span because it is picture day for the house at 2pm. A surprise 2-hour notice from our agent. Yes, of course it would be okay. Sure...we can get it done...

Picked up Jewels from school--walking and praying, hoping that the grumpy girl has turned her mood. Hoping that the grumpy girl understood and thought about the violations she made and that she now desires to do the good and right thing--all the time!

What a high expectation I have for her even though I am fully aware that she is changing, and transitioning into this really rough phase in her life...tween life...the in-between phase into teenage-hood and then into young adulthood. And, she is only human. We all have made mistakes, we all have sinned. But, let's hope that we have learned from those mistakes. Oh my...what a struggle--I thought...when I woke up this morning to find that the Jewels slept with her iPod. Broken rule of this Vash House!

That's it! iPod has been locked in our security box, and she will not get to see it for a week, maybe two...I'm still contemplating :/

And, now, the family is all together again...let's start this all over again and welcome February with a positive attitude, an open mind and heart to God and His great energy. For without His energy today, without His help, without His guidance, and without His love, I would not have been able to do what I have done today. I pray for understanding as to what my daughter is going through and what she needs from me, Father. I pray that she seeks You first. I pray for knowledge and wisdom to help her transition into this new phase in her life in a healthy way, Lord. I am desperate for Your help with everything, and in this season of my life...I especially need Your guidance and help with how to be a better mother.

Let's pray:

Father, may we welcome new beginnings with an open heart and an open mind, but above all else, may we welcome You into our lives every minute of every day. Please remind us that we are weak without You. And, that when we are broken, we must come to You for your help to put us back together again because You are the Creator. You are the only One who knows how to fix us. You are the Great Healer, the Great Physician. May Your Holy Spirit move us to do the good and right thing with love and joy even when it means "living beyond ourselves" as Beth Moore had mentioned. Thank you for loving me...

In Your Son's name I pray, Amen

God's Beautiful Grace

Have you ever meditated on God's grace for you? How about...how you got where you are today?

 

To have this beautiful and everlasting relationship with Him, to have the open access for prayers and praises to God at any given time through our Savior Jesus Christ--is all by the grace of God. Grace translates to me as God's unfailing love, His mercy, His patience, and His loyalty to us and for us. Grace reminds me of God sending His one and only son to live and die on that cross for us...for all our sins.  

 

We have all made mistakes, sinned, and while we are believers in Christ, we are still sinners. Boy, is that a paradox or what?! We sin on a daily basis, maybe by going just a few miles above that speed limit, or by telling a white lie for the purposes of not hurting anyone's feelings, or by telling a patient that they will do okay under anesthesia and surgery to curb their anxiety before they fall asleep even though we know they may not do so well, and so on and so forth. Yes, we are sinners. And, no, we are not perfect! But, what is perfect is God's redeeming grace for us all! Are we deserving of it? No. Not at all.

 

God's grace by definition according to Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry (CARM) means the unmerited favor of God to those who are undeserving in other words unworthy. It is also defined as "not a created substance of any kind, but as the love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it" (Our Wesleyan Theological Heritage, 2015). He desires us to have it--to have His grace and to understand it. When we come to an understanding of this divine topic of God's grace, we also come to a greater appreciation for what He has done for us compelling us to continually praise Him. 

 

Because we are not deserving of God's perfect grace and we receive it anyway, one blessing after another, is why I would like to remind myself this New Year and always of His beautiful grace and how it has changed me and continues to change me. I am convinced that this is the way to keep me closer to Him in everything I do. It is a guideline that outlines the path for me--to make decisions that are according to His perfect will, to renew my thoughts and ways that bring me closer to Him and that pleases and glorify Him.

 

Let's pray:

 

Lord, this year, I am committed to focusing on Your grace. You are The God of the universe who continually blesses me with one thing after another after another even though I am not deserving of them. I pray that Your grace will motivate me and encourage me to spill it over to my husband, my daughter, my family, my friends, my patients, the people I work with, and perfect strangers when I go out into the world. I pray that You give me deeper and a more profound understanding of Your grace, Father. For it is by Your grace that I have been saved. Thank you for loving me.

 

In Jesus' name, Amen 

 

 

 

The Joy Stealer in Me

Lately, it seems as though whatever I hear and read—through my devotions that I receive in my inbox every morning, listening to Joyce Meyer on my way to work, hearing Pastor Ken’s sermons on Sundays, and over the radio via a Bible Study program as I am driving away from Patterson—I hear the encouragement and reminder to be joyful always. I hear Paul telling me, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV).

Maybe God is trying to tell me something. Maybe He’s telling me that I need to be more joyful reminding me that I am a representation of Christ while I’m at home or out there in the world. And, He is right. I surely am a representative of His. I am a chosen child of God and I must behave and carry myself accordingly. And, to be a child of His is a true blessing—this calls for a joyful heart. I can always work on myself and get closer to that joyful always part. I can make a conscious decision to do what God says and acknowledge my dependence on Him and when this happens, my perspective will change for the better.

I must admit that I can certainly be a joy stealer. It is so easy to go there—to be negative, to complain about anything and everything from my one-and-a-half hour commute, to my 12-hour workday, to the assignments I get at work, to not getting enough time to be with my family…and the list just goes on.

I am guilty of being that whiner to my poor husband when I get home from work. I would tell him, “I’m tired. I’ve worked all day and was on the road for three hours. Just need to go to bed and do it all over again tomorrow.” In other words, leave me alone. See how easy that was? I am so guilty of this and after I have said this to the guy who proclaims his love for me every day, waiting for me to arrive home safely from work with a smile on his face and “baited-breath” (as he likes to call it), I feel so bad. I regret saying that to him. And, it’s something that I can’t take back. I can apologize, but it is only meaningful and sincere if I purposefully and intentionally change from the negative, joy-stealer to a joyful person. It’s not that hard to reciprocate that joy that he gives me when he finally gets to see me again after 15 to 16 hours of being gone. And this, sisters, is happening at home—I must change my attitude starting inside my home to the world.

If we are representatives or ambassadors of Jesus Christ the Risen and Saving One, in other words, the dictionary defines an ambassador as a person who acts as a representative or promoter of a special activity and in this case, that ‘special activity’ is Jesus Christ…then we must portray ourselves, behave, and act as such.

We can make that decision today and everyday to “rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances”. My attitude has changed before I hit the road every morning to work from: “great…here we go again…not looking forward to this traffic…” to praising God for giving me a job to look forward to—a place where I can use and explore my talents and gifts that God has given me, for the long commute so that I am able to listen to amazing Christian influencers on the radio like Chip Ingram and Ravi Zacharias, then singing along to worship songs by Christian artists like David Crowder and Lauren Daigle.

How my perspectives change when I turn negative thoughts and energy into joyful, thankful, and prayerful ones! And, when this happens, that joy is contagious spreading to the important people in my life like my husband and daughter. They appreciate seeing that and most of all, God loves seeing a joyful heart. He loves to hear us giving thanks and praying to Him because prayer is the line that we use to connect with God and to build a relationship with Him. He is so eager to be our friend.  

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Autumn is in the air. This is my most favorite season of all. A reminder of time to rest, and be prepared to cozy up with a fresh cup of coffee and the Greatest Book ever written—the Bible. First of all, I praise God for this day of rest, much needed, too actually. And, God knows that. He knows all of this and searches our hearts. I am thankful for this time given to me to commune with Him—to allow the Holy Spirit to pursue my heart and soul and mind with undivided attention.

Along with this fall weather also comes a feeling of some sort of sadness or melancholy as the leaves on the trees change color and start to fall onto the ground creating this beautiful road carpeted with orange and yellow leaves. I will never understand why I feel sad this time of year, yet the beauties of nature during this season lifts me up. But, I will take that because I am lifted in spirit by the creation of God. How beautiful the weather is outside right now with orange trees all around as it is drizzling. I have recently learned that feelings of sadness may have originated from expectations that went unmet, or the feeling of being overlooked, underappreciated, unwanted, and unloved. I’m sure most of us have felt this way some time or another by the people that we care for and love. People will disappoint us and expectations will go unmet. Yet, what do we do about this and how do we manage these feelings of sadness from growing into bitterness and anger? My solution is the Bible and the Word. There are all kinds of truths that can be found in the Bible to brighten our days and to remind us of the promises that God has made for us.

If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31b) He is all that should matter because He is for us. When we rest in the truth that His love is perfect and unfailing and when we accept the fact that He cares for us so much, all sadness shall dissipate. Be confident in God’s redeeming grace. Let His promise comfort us and satisfy us so that we shall not look for satisfaction or comfort elsewhere. He is here for us. Dive into His Word and let the healing process begin. We must realize, recognize, and accept this truth: our worth must come from God first.

When we are complete in Him, the confidence that we have in Him will not crush our hearts so easily when people disappoint us. In addition, we must not find our worth in other things or from other people when the One who created us have given us this worth. Do not let outside things define who we are. We have been defined by God before we were even born. Let our identities be defined by the One who created us. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well,” says David found in Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV). Do not let the world tell us otherwise. Resonate in this truth found in Ephesians 1:4, “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world…” Another scripture found in Jeremiah 1:5 says, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I anointed you as a prophet to the nations (NIV)”. Surely this scripture was spoken to Jeremiah, but we can also apply it to our lives. God knew us long before we were even born or conceived. When we feel discouraged—look to Christ for courage. When we feel disappointed—look to God for the appointments He has made and fulfilled. When we feel inadequate—we must remember that God has always thought of us as valuable and that he has a purpose in mind for us.

Now, let us enjoy the beauty of this season that God has created for us to soak up and appreciate! I praise God for all the blessings that He has given me, for all the difficult times that brought me to my knees to pray and commune with Him, and for reminding me that in Him, my worth is found.

Blessings,

Seda