Sin is sin—no matter how big or small. Sin can be as big as murdering somebody and taking their actual life away. Indeed, this type of sin is comparable to the indirect murdering of a brother or sister by having hatred for them. In a world full of differing opinions, a plethora of religious choices to choose from, especially for Americans where there is tremendous freedom, there is of course, great conflict and controversy. It may seem a bit overwhelming or conflicting to some, or should I say, to most, as we live in such a liberal nation. But, when we really think about conflict among human beings in general because of differing opinions and ways of living, let us not overlook the great conflict among believers of Jesus. Statistics say that 1 out of 4 Americans proclaim their religious choice as Christianity. However, I'm conflicted as to why we are not more peaceful as a nation. This does not come to me by surprise because we have been forewarned by prophets of the Bible from the Ancient of Days in the Old Testament to the New Testament as taught by some the most credible apostles of Jesus including Peter, Paul, Timothy, and so forth. We were reminded that there will certainly be conflict among brothers and sisters over many different reasons, not only with biological siblings but also those brothers and sisters of Christ.
It may seem like there is no hope. This is not true. There
is hope for reconciliation for broken relationships. First and foremost, we must reconcile our once broken relationship with God in order to successfully resolve issues with one another. It is never too late for reconciliation no matter how
broken the situation may seem or how long the conflict has been allowed to go
on without resolution or whatever the next excuse may be. The greatest news is that God allows us the opportunity
to reconcile our relationship with Him first before we can attempt to resolve
any brokenness between each other. And, the next good news is that God equips
us with how to handle conflict through His step-by-step instructions in His Word
paying close attention to Romans chapters 14 and 15. Paul shows us how to resolve
conflict in a godly, winsome, and loving way.
The biggest step to committing to resolve any conflict
between individuals whether at work or at home or in the broader world is the power to put one’s pride
aside. This concept goes to believers and non-believers alike. Here’s the thing—when
we don’t do this, we are not going to learn anything from the process and
really, we wouldn’t be here today talking about it. We can also choose to take
the easy route by just ignoring that there is a problem in the first place and allowing
the issue to eat us up inside. This may be due to the desire to keep the peace that never existed in the first place or that there may be a lack of courage. Additionally, the point is not to point fingers or determine who is at fault or who sinned greater. The greatest point is that there is an issue that needs
to be resolved. That issue may stem from general misunderstandings, or that there was a lack
of genuine love and concern for one another, or simply that there is no
interest in building a real, genuine relationship between each other. That is all fine and everything
but when there is hurt and injury involved, the issue must be addressed and tended to.
When we attentively listen by, first of all, humbling
ourselves before that tough conversation and allowing for the other person to
open up, we set our posture for impartiality
allowing for authentic and meaningful conversation to take root. We’re giving
the other person the benefit of the doubt along with giving ourselves the
benefit of the doubt because there may be some points or aspects that we have missed, especially, with so much brokenness in the world. Thus, we wouldn’t know any better because some of us may have come from broken and dysfunctional homes growing up. So, the next best thing to do, in our minds, is to put our guard up and ‘protect’ ourselves from being hurt. This type of response is natural.
But, really, at the end of the day, the question is: what if
the person meant it for good and not for bad. Just like what God reminded us in
His Word through the life of Joseph as told in Genesis chapters 37 through
50. Towards the latter part of Joseph’s life, his response to his brothers who tried to kill him when he was a boy was, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what
is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20 NIV). Now let’s
put this verse into context. As mentioned earlier, brothers and sisters
quarrel, conflict comes up all the time (in one word: drama). Even from
the beginning of time, we were given a classic example in the life of Joseph where he
was supposed to have been murdered by his brothers but God saved him. Joseph’s loving and righteous response to his brothers, the same brothers who attempted to kill him years earlier, who later on had to put their pride aside, and are now begging the rich and powerful Joseph to feed them for they had been starving for months, is an example of how we ought to love and be as believers. Therefore,
brothers and sisters, let us be reminded as Paul reminded us in Romans12:19: “Do
not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
“It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.”
Through these scriptures shared here along with Joseph's life as one prime example out of the Bible, I truly hope and pray that we examine our hearts by asking God to further search our hearts. Secondly, we must ask ourselves: who in our
lives where conflict resolution needs to take place in a loving and winsome way
through the help of the Holy Spirit?
Then, pray for the person, pray for the situation, ask God for wisdom on how to move forward and for to show you how to address the conflict. If possible, and if the other person is willing, meet in private, and have a heart-to-heart discussion before God, who is first of all filled with unfailing love, mercy, faithfulness, fairness and forgiveness.
May the Lord bless you and keep you.
